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pixieledmemes2025-01-15 09:46 am
Test Drive Meme #1
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It seems to be a holiday party of some sort, if the large, candle-decorated pine tree in the middle of the tables is any indication. While the party appears to be outside, the temperature is mild and pleasant within the gates and hedges sectioning the party off from the rest of the garden. Stars twinkle overhead, a full moon hanging in the sky, as fluffy flakes of oddly not-cold snow drift to the ground. Some of the hosts dance in a circle around the pine tree, moving their hands around in odd patterns as their feet move; it seems to make the tree glow. The mood seems to be festive, with everyone smiling brightly. Their chipper voices sometimes crescendo louder than the soft chamber music that's being performed in the corner; their laughter rings out like little bells now and then as people get settled.
There are candles and sprigs of pine on every table accenting the festive spread of food and drinks. There are cookies, olives and cheese and crackers, various sliced meats, cranberries and oranges, chocolate coins, fried potatoes of every shape and style, warmed cider and mulled wine, and every other type of food you might be craving.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
In front of you sits a spinning top with symbols you don't recognize on each of its four sides. Next to it is a pile of chocolate coins. Someone nearby helpfully explains that you'll need a second player to bet against, but they at least are willing to take a second to explain the rules.
Each round, each player puts a coin into the pot. Then they take turns spinning the top, taking an action depending on the symbol that is landed on. The wind chime means you do nothing. The coin means you take everything in the pot. The sword means you take half of everything in the pot (half plus one if there is an odd number). The hand means you put a piece of your winnings back in the pot. When one person owns every chocolate coin and the other person is left with nothing, they have won the game.
Perhaps you should try and flag someone down to play a game to figure out what's going on around here. After all, half of the party guests look about as confused as you do, and it might be a nice idea to start getting to know the other people here.
Tucked away in a corner sits the dessert table. Each cake, cookie, and pastry has signs next to them:
Warning: Do Not Eat
But everything else you've had tonight doesn't seem to have an effect, so what's the harm in a little sweet treat? You dig in, and then, without your knowledge, something changes about you. What those changes are, exactly, is dependent on the desserts you've eaten. Luckily the effect is only temporary; some only last a matter of minutes, some last hours, but either way as soon as you leave the party, you'll be cured.
Types of Desserts
- Cakes: You will believe you've lived in the Fae Realm your whole life and belong there
- Cookies: You will shrink down to about two inches tall
- Pies: You will forget someone important to you
- Candies: You will no longer be able to tell any lies
- Custards: You will grow a tail, antennae, wings, or any combination thereof
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
Tell us all of a time you received a gift. It could be one you enjoyed or one you did not. Perhaps a particularly amusing story will be rewarded.
b
And oh, there's Laurent. In a... chiton.
Now they're both captive princes.
...give him a minute, the chiton is pretty short. ]
no subject
Laurent pushes himself onto his feet when he catches sight of that familiar- tall- figure, watching with wide blue eyes. This has the unfortunate (for Damen) side effect of making the chiton hang longer than it does sitting down, but it’s still pretty short (good for you, Damen.)]
Are you hurt?
[It occurs to him immediately after he opens his mouth that this is a silly question, to ask what must be the most unkillable man on the continent. Quite foolish of him, but there are other ways this could be going worse right now. Damen staring at his legs means that Damen isn’t having Words with him about What Happened At Kingsmeet, which is a win. Laurent on the other hand is looking Damen once over and noting the relative lack of injury, but also how much cleaner Damen’s chiton looks compared to his; the extra seconds give him time to think about how to address that.]
This is a bitch of a cell. [Pretending, plausibly, that his worse-for-wear condition is entirely due to marinating in this holding cell for some time.] I suppose you got hold of something sharp and started swinging it at people?
no subject
Something like that. I didn't take the news that we're trapped here very well.
[ Though the person he most worried about losing is, it turns out, right here. He still wants to go home and save Akielos, but seeing Laurent alive and well and here immediately calms him somewhat. He steps forward to pull Laurent into an embrace. ]
1/2
2/2 - if Damen would do something before this, let me know and I'll delete this part
We’ll find a way to get you out. [yeehaw Freudian slip] -to get us, out.
ALL GOOD
I know. We're together. [ He says it simply, and with full confidence. He trusts Laurent, trusts their abilities when they work as a team. They'll get out of here. And they'll make the people who brought them here regret ever messing with them. ]
I suppose you opened your mouth?
[ There's a fond look in his eye. If anyone could get arrested simply for talking, it's Laurent. ]
no subject
On the contrary, I tried your method. I thought if the faerie that made me eat was killed, whatever binds us here might die with them. Maybe I should have done more talking.
[He opens his eyes to look into Damen’s. Serious.]
Are you ready to return to Arles? This feels like it. [He says it like a warning; not Arles the city of his birth, but Arles the gilded cage he has spent the past six years surviving. The court that had molded his skills into the twisted shape that they are now.
But, on the upside-] At least this go around you’ve got more clothes on, and we hate each other a lot less.
no subject
[ His eyes glint with amusement for another moment before he sobers as well. ]
I'll follow your lead. I'd like to think I've learned a little about court politics by now, but I'm still better swinging sharp objects around.
no subject
[Where was this energy when Pallas walked in on you naked, huh.]
I don’t have the advantages I had in my own court; [though again, it should be noted, the slightly tight way in which Laurent enunciates my own court betrays his actual feelings on the matter.] I will have to figure out what’s going on. I was planning on doing that tomorrow.
But tonight, could we-?
[Spend that time together, he doesn’t say, choosing instead to lean in again in an open invitation for a kiss. Though they don’t get very far before heavy footsteps echo down the corridor outside, the fae guard lazily calling out that it was time for the golden-haired one to be let out.
Laurent, though it is inconceivable that he did not hear, does not immediately move away.]
no subject
[ It's not the nudity he's shy about!!!
He smiles at Laurent's request, and leans in to kiss him. Only to be interrupted by the guard. Damen shuts his eyes with a groan, though he doesn't loosen his embrace. ]
I'm coming with you.
[ Let them try to stop him. ]
1/2 (if damen would react strongly enough to change the situation, lmk and I can edit!)
The blonde finally pulls his head away, tucks it over Damen’s shoulder to make direct eye contact with the guard outside, and pitches his voice in an exact replica of what he used walking into the inn at Nesson. Or alternatively, a very good imitation of Nicaise. Could be both.]
I don’t want to leave. [“What?”] I’m not done calming down, I’m not calm at all. So I shouldn’t leave, right?
[Laurent pushes Damen to the side- not forcefully from Damen’s perspective, but firmly- and goes up to the front of the cell, facing down the fae guard through the square of bars they’d magicked out of existence. Now, a square of nothing but air that Laurent could easily step through but doesn’t, choosing instead to radiate enough child-on-the-verge-of-a-tantrum energy to make the guard take a step back in stupefied confusion.]
I want you to turn me into a cute animal for ten more minutes, else, we’re going to bite your nose off. Do you want to know what else humans do when they’re upset?
[The fae guarding them is just a low-ranking fae who drew the short straw for party duty -no Jord nor Orlant- and caves immediately, not being paid enough to deal with this shit. The bars come back up, and in a poof of mist, Laurent shrinks down into the form of a fluffy longhaired cat.]
2/2
Miaow.
[Only Damen, who knows Laurent intimately, would recognise the distinctive note of self-satisfaction in the cat’s meow. The cat seems to consider this situation another one of its victories, and with a glance upwards at Damen, leaps onto his chest expecting to be caught with big strong arms.
Once he finds steady purchase on Damen, Meowrent starts purring real loud.]
no subject
I hope you know what you're doing.
[ Because Damen sure doesn't. ]
no subject
[Laurent's reasons should become readily apparent once Damen starts to think through it- the cat, whether by some trick of fae magic or the fact that it's a cat with cat braincells, is un-selfconscious in a way that Laurent simply isn't. Perhaps it feels good to Laurent to sidestep even his own labyrinthine mind.
Meowrent spends a few indulgent seconds rubbing against Damen and bonking its head against his broad shoulders, purring, before the awkwardness of Damen's handling registers. It detaches from Damen to look back at him, blue eyes innocent and curious.]
Mrrpp?
[Very gently, the cat reaches out a paw and baps Damen's chin. The idea was to pat his cheek, but. Distances are longer when you're a kitty with kitty paws.]