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pixieledmemes2025-07-15 09:03 am
Test Drive Meme #4
Welcome to the Pixie Led Test Drive Meme!
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
Unlike all of the other parties the Adopted have attended thus far, this one lacks the fae's usual easy elegance and ethereal beauty. Instead of dresses drenched in shining pearls and gems or sturdy tables full of the most mouth-watering food around, this party looks... cheap.
While the chasm between the Seelie and Unseelie courts has stopped growing, it also hasn't started shrinking. But when it comes to party planning, the Day Duke and the Summer Queen have thrown out the more traditional kind of party in favor of a summer celebration that their human pets might be familiar with. A Renaissance Faire.
But this is the fae interpretation of a human Ren Faire, complete with cheap, itchy costumes, cardboard stalls in the marketplace, and soft, plastic weaponry. Even the fae themselves seem to have gotten into the spirit of the event, masquerading - poorly - as humans playing faerie creatures. Everything within this crafted townsquare is absolutely fake, except for the plentiful faire food and drink that can not be avoided. Newcomers will have massive turkey legs, steaming apple dumplings, and overflowing wooden mugs shoved into their hands as they stroll through the faire.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately elf woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
CW: loss of agency, character death
Between the faeries cosplaying as humans - flat, bland wigs and all - Adopted may catch a glimpse or three of strange figures slinking through the crowd, all dressed up in the same cheap robes, wearing masks made up to look like rats. If an Adopted attempts to catch one of these figures, they’ll find themselves drawn away from the lively crowd into some darkened corner of the faire, where the sound of the festival doesn’t quite reach. The rat man will say nothing if spoken to, only holding out a shining, jeweled crown that all Adopted will feel compelled to wear before they scurry away without a word.
And for most of the party, the rat men seem harmless enough, lurking around and handing out crowns, making a point to hit most of the Seelie court’s Adopted in particular. It just seems like another strange misinterpretation of human tradition by the fae, unintentionally sinister when really it’s all for fun.
But then the party goes silent.
One of the rat men descends into the market square with a cheeky little dance, pipe in hand, already playing a jaunty tune that carries from one end of the faire to the other. Any Adopted wearing a crown will be unable to resist the call of the music, dancing along to every note. And as the figure masquerading as a rat begins to step backwards away from the crowd, they'll find themselves following right after him, forced to mimic his every step.
If they are not stopped by those without crowns, the Adopted will eventually dance themselves right into the forest with their piper, blindly following him even as the trees themselves begin to twist in around them. The further they get from the party, the more the brush becomes so thick it suffocates, vines and branches curling around limbs, trapping the Adopted long enough that they'll be swallowed up completely by the forest, returned to their dorm bedrooms by morning.
CW: loss of agency, unintentional harm, blood and gore
There is a veritable trove of activities the adopted can pick from to entertain themselves for the evening as they battle the relentless heat and scorching sun. But don't be fooled, the activities present aren't mundane and offer some thrilling options.
It should be noted that while of the other weapons to be found all over the faire are plastic, Adopted will see for themselves that there is no mistaking that the items used in these games are incredibly real.
- 🦋 Axe throwing & Archery: Of course, this sounds simple enough, but upon stepping up and picking up your axe or bow, you will find that you cannot stop until all arrows or axes are used (the number of which we leave to you). And your target? Why another Adopted, of course. In a blink, some random Adopted (be they known to you or not) will be selected and strapped to the target board, unable to teleport or wiggle free, trapped in much the same way you are. Until the last munition is used, neither of you can escape.
- Hope you have good aim.
- 🦋 Jousting: Three parties are at war for the jousting trophy - the Seelie, the Unseelie, and the Adopted. Now's your chance to ride for your chosen patron's honor and saddle up. Upon getting on the horse of your chosen patron, it will become impossible to dismount until you win or lose. Take up your lance and shield (did we mention they didn't offer armor?) and knock your opponent off their horse first or risk your own impalement and subsequent dishonor.
- Do not fear, no matter what happens during this event, the horses will be perfectly safe. The Adopted however do not have that same protection.
- 🦋 Darts: Seems simple enough. Much like the other games, once you begin to play you cannot stop until you and your partner reach 0. Upon starting, everything is normal other than the compulsion, but once the first dart is thrown? Well, your partner better have a good constitution because when either of you throw, the other will be hurt in turn. The closer to the bullseye you are, the more painful it will be.
- Isn't teamwork great?
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, tell us all of a time when you saw through a facade that fooled everyone around you. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
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I know drink has its benefits. I’m glad, if glad is the appropriate word, that it is working for you.
The man I’m thinking of likes drink too, so I don’t.
That'll be my confession for this party.
[There are a lot of ways you could interpret that second last sentence, but one thing Nancy can know if she chooses is that Laurent really does dislike alcohol. Despite working at the bar with her, the blonde has always declined drinks and prefers plain water.]
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[Whereas Laurent has declined drinks, Nancy works there to supplement her intake.]
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How are you finding the party, network question aside?
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I've found it easier to move through the party if you don't ask that particular why.
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Fair enough.
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I almost thought they were legs from a hog.
One wonders what they do with the rest of the bird? If there really was a game bird that big, we would prepare them whole instead and display them with all their feathers.
I haven't tried them, but have you?
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I'm sure it's in some of the pies or something they've got, y'know? I can't imagine letting it go to waste.
They're incredible. That's stuff fit only for a king to eat.
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[Yeah, he hasn't compared pork legs to turkey legs.]
We better not let any kings know we're enjoying tasters of their food. They might get jealous.
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most kings here I've met wouldn't give a damn.
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I’ve met a couple, myself. They seem much nicer than the ones back home.
[A wild and confusing statement coming from a prince, but wild and confusing is part of his brand.]
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If you meet my partner, you can add one more king to the list. He's one too, though he's not so obvious about it.