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pixieledmemes2025-07-15 09:03 am
Test Drive Meme #4
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
Unlike all of the other parties the Adopted have attended thus far, this one lacks the fae's usual easy elegance and ethereal beauty. Instead of dresses drenched in shining pearls and gems or sturdy tables full of the most mouth-watering food around, this party looks... cheap.
While the chasm between the Seelie and Unseelie courts has stopped growing, it also hasn't started shrinking. But when it comes to party planning, the Day Duke and the Summer Queen have thrown out the more traditional kind of party in favor of a summer celebration that their human pets might be familiar with. A Renaissance Faire.
But this is the fae interpretation of a human Ren Faire, complete with cheap, itchy costumes, cardboard stalls in the marketplace, and soft, plastic weaponry. Even the fae themselves seem to have gotten into the spirit of the event, masquerading - poorly - as humans playing faerie creatures. Everything within this crafted townsquare is absolutely fake, except for the plentiful faire food and drink that can not be avoided. Newcomers will have massive turkey legs, steaming apple dumplings, and overflowing wooden mugs shoved into their hands as they stroll through the faire.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately elf woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
CW: loss of agency, character death
Between the faeries cosplaying as humans - flat, bland wigs and all - Adopted may catch a glimpse or three of strange figures slinking through the crowd, all dressed up in the same cheap robes, wearing masks made up to look like rats. If an Adopted attempts to catch one of these figures, they’ll find themselves drawn away from the lively crowd into some darkened corner of the faire, where the sound of the festival doesn’t quite reach. The rat man will say nothing if spoken to, only holding out a shining, jeweled crown that all Adopted will feel compelled to wear before they scurry away without a word.
And for most of the party, the rat men seem harmless enough, lurking around and handing out crowns, making a point to hit most of the Seelie court’s Adopted in particular. It just seems like another strange misinterpretation of human tradition by the fae, unintentionally sinister when really it’s all for fun.
But then the party goes silent.
One of the rat men descends into the market square with a cheeky little dance, pipe in hand, already playing a jaunty tune that carries from one end of the faire to the other. Any Adopted wearing a crown will be unable to resist the call of the music, dancing along to every note. And as the figure masquerading as a rat begins to step backwards away from the crowd, they'll find themselves following right after him, forced to mimic his every step.
If they are not stopped by those without crowns, the Adopted will eventually dance themselves right into the forest with their piper, blindly following him even as the trees themselves begin to twist in around them. The further they get from the party, the more the brush becomes so thick it suffocates, vines and branches curling around limbs, trapping the Adopted long enough that they'll be swallowed up completely by the forest, returned to their dorm bedrooms by morning.
CW: loss of agency, unintentional harm, blood and gore
There is a veritable trove of activities the adopted can pick from to entertain themselves for the evening as they battle the relentless heat and scorching sun. But don't be fooled, the activities present aren't mundane and offer some thrilling options.
It should be noted that while of the other weapons to be found all over the faire are plastic, Adopted will see for themselves that there is no mistaking that the items used in these games are incredibly real.
- 🦋 Axe throwing & Archery: Of course, this sounds simple enough, but upon stepping up and picking up your axe or bow, you will find that you cannot stop until all arrows or axes are used (the number of which we leave to you). And your target? Why another Adopted, of course. In a blink, some random Adopted (be they known to you or not) will be selected and strapped to the target board, unable to teleport or wiggle free, trapped in much the same way you are. Until the last munition is used, neither of you can escape.
- Hope you have good aim.
- 🦋 Jousting: Three parties are at war for the jousting trophy - the Seelie, the Unseelie, and the Adopted. Now's your chance to ride for your chosen patron's honor and saddle up. Upon getting on the horse of your chosen patron, it will become impossible to dismount until you win or lose. Take up your lance and shield (did we mention they didn't offer armor?) and knock your opponent off their horse first or risk your own impalement and subsequent dishonor.
- Do not fear, no matter what happens during this event, the horses will be perfectly safe. The Adopted however do not have that same protection.
- 🦋 Darts: Seems simple enough. Much like the other games, once you begin to play you cannot stop until you and your partner reach 0. Upon starting, everything is normal other than the compulsion, but once the first dart is thrown? Well, your partner better have a good constitution because when either of you throw, the other will be hurt in turn. The closer to the bullseye you are, the more painful it will be.
- Isn't teamwork great?
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, tell us all of a time when you saw through a facade that fooled everyone around you. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
no subject
( she presses a soft kiss to his cheek as she sits beside him, lifting her drink to sip )
Faires as large as this never touched my village, though it would have been too small for anything like this.
no subject
[ Said with a smile when she kisses him, sitting close to her and taking a sip from his drink. ]
That was around... 1600's, or whereabouts? [ A guess, given the ballpark of her age and what little she's shared of her past. ] What was it like, there?
no subject
( she turns her head more into him as she speaks, lacing their fingers together. having someone know her ballpark age is usually enough, there are few who know anything more exact about it.
she thinks on his question, debating what exactly to share )
Small, crowded, and it smelled poor. There was an abundance of farmland around it and little else for the smell to go.
no subject
Her answer gets an amused chuckle from him, as he lifts his mug with his free hand. ]
This entire place must seem terribly familiar, then.
[ He'd almost wonder if she even likes being at the farm, if she hadn't visited of her own volition as many times as she has. ]
Did you do a lot of farm work, when you were younger? Or did you take to magic right away?
no subject
( later she'll be surprised at how easily she tells him of her past, talking about things that she never usually shares, nor wants to think about. but she has so much trust in him that it makes it easy )
I learned pieces from him, and some farm work.
( especially after fergus had been born. rowena looks away from him, looking back out at the decorated square, her next words even quieter in their delicate nature )
I began properly practising magic after my son was born.
( intentionally practicing. her magic was instinctual in its innate nature as it was something she'd needed to learn. and the women of the village were witches in their own nonmagical way: wise women, healers, little things she'd learned there as well )
no subject
He's more surprised at the last information she volunteers than anything else. Not that she's had a son necessarily, but that she's willing to share that with him now. ]
Is he...
[ Dead? Or still alive somehow, if he's like her? He doesn't know enough to really understand without asking. ]
no subject
He died.
( both centuries ago, which had hurt her, but then he'd died again a few years ago. rowena still hadn't fully grieved him )
Fergus wasn't a witch; my talent for magic didn't pass to him, even with the few things I did teach him.
( maybe if she'd been around he'd have been able to learn more, since he'd been able to cast spells, but he also didn't have the same interest she did.
rowena could add more detail, but she's not certain this moment is the right one for it. it's a nice day, she doesn't want to find a way to spoil it )
I wasn't in Scotland for long after he was born.
no subject
I'm sorry, Rowena.
[ His other hand rests on her arm, his voice soft. It's a pain no parent should have to go through, and just because she might live unnaturally long, it doesn't make it any easier. He of all people understands that. ]
Thank you for sharing this with me.
no subject
I wouldn't be the witch I am today if each of those events hadn't happened.
( she releases a breath )
It's something I've had cause to think about over the centuries, who I may be, what I would have been.
no subject
[ Erik knows he'd be a very different man today if he hadn't met Magda, and if they didn't have Nina together. That doesn't mean he can't wish for a different outcome, sometimes. Even if it meant never meeting them. If only they had gotten to live on.
It's complicated. He has no regrets, but sometimes... one wonders. Doesn't take living for hundreds of years for that to happen. ]
I'll admit, I am very glad for the person you are today.
no subject
As I am about you.
( her other hand comes up to rest against his cheek, and rowena leans in to kiss him. the brush of her lips is light at first, quickly deepening )
no subject
He tilts his head to meet her on that kiss, his free hand weaving through her hair. Whatever the pace, he's happy to let her take the lead and meet her halfway. ]
no subject
Let's keep walking, see what else of this faire there is.
( and taking his food plate with them. she's not done stealing from it yet )
no subject
Aside from the food stalls, the other main attraction seems to be the games, and it's towards those Erik wanders, looking around a few quite realistic games before one with a Fae dressed as a witch sitting above a dunk tank. Adopted and Fae both are lured in to take a gander at the target, in hopes of dropping the "witch" in the water. ]
Is this funny or insensitive?
[ He nods with an amused glance at Rowena. She's the actual witch, she might have complicated feelings about witch dunking. Better safe than sorry. ]
no subject
every so often, she takes a little bit of food from his plate, quiet conversation as they walk together around the faire until they stop )
I'm certain the fae are quite ignorant of history.
( her voice is still soft, no prickle of irritation in it, even though she knows what erik alludes to, and is grateful of his consideration )
It's dumb. ( there's a long history of witches being drown, scotland burned many witches, though drowned others, as did other parts of the world. sink or float ) Are you trying to see if I'd float?
( a gentle tease, especially because she has no intention of being dunked. she already had that at the ocean and she doesn't plan it again )
no subject
I've seen you swim, I think that question's answered already.
[ But dunking that Fae there? Now, that he could have fun with. Handing Rowena the plate, he then approaches the game, shooting her a lopsided smile as he accepts the three balls for him to throw at the target. ]
I might just win you a prize. What do you think?
no subject
she takes a little bit of food from the plate, letting her hand slip from his, and she's slightly surprised at this comment )
Win me a prize? ( she's been to a faire before, she knows what he's doing.
but whether or not she's interested in the prize, she wouldn't mind seeing that fae get dunked. for the beach and for impersonating dunking a witch. rude )
I'd like to see this.