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pixieledmemes2025-07-15 09:03 am
Test Drive Meme #4
Welcome to the Pixie Led Test Drive Meme!
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
Unlike all of the other parties the Adopted have attended thus far, this one lacks the fae's usual easy elegance and ethereal beauty. Instead of dresses drenched in shining pearls and gems or sturdy tables full of the most mouth-watering food around, this party looks... cheap.
While the chasm between the Seelie and Unseelie courts has stopped growing, it also hasn't started shrinking. But when it comes to party planning, the Day Duke and the Summer Queen have thrown out the more traditional kind of party in favor of a summer celebration that their human pets might be familiar with. A Renaissance Faire.
But this is the fae interpretation of a human Ren Faire, complete with cheap, itchy costumes, cardboard stalls in the marketplace, and soft, plastic weaponry. Even the fae themselves seem to have gotten into the spirit of the event, masquerading - poorly - as humans playing faerie creatures. Everything within this crafted townsquare is absolutely fake, except for the plentiful faire food and drink that can not be avoided. Newcomers will have massive turkey legs, steaming apple dumplings, and overflowing wooden mugs shoved into their hands as they stroll through the faire.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately elf woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
CW: loss of agency, character death
Between the faeries cosplaying as humans - flat, bland wigs and all - Adopted may catch a glimpse or three of strange figures slinking through the crowd, all dressed up in the same cheap robes, wearing masks made up to look like rats. If an Adopted attempts to catch one of these figures, they’ll find themselves drawn away from the lively crowd into some darkened corner of the faire, where the sound of the festival doesn’t quite reach. The rat man will say nothing if spoken to, only holding out a shining, jeweled crown that all Adopted will feel compelled to wear before they scurry away without a word.
And for most of the party, the rat men seem harmless enough, lurking around and handing out crowns, making a point to hit most of the Seelie court’s Adopted in particular. It just seems like another strange misinterpretation of human tradition by the fae, unintentionally sinister when really it’s all for fun.
But then the party goes silent.
One of the rat men descends into the market square with a cheeky little dance, pipe in hand, already playing a jaunty tune that carries from one end of the faire to the other. Any Adopted wearing a crown will be unable to resist the call of the music, dancing along to every note. And as the figure masquerading as a rat begins to step backwards away from the crowd, they'll find themselves following right after him, forced to mimic his every step.
If they are not stopped by those without crowns, the Adopted will eventually dance themselves right into the forest with their piper, blindly following him even as the trees themselves begin to twist in around them. The further they get from the party, the more the brush becomes so thick it suffocates, vines and branches curling around limbs, trapping the Adopted long enough that they'll be swallowed up completely by the forest, returned to their dorm bedrooms by morning.
CW: loss of agency, unintentional harm, blood and gore
There is a veritable trove of activities the adopted can pick from to entertain themselves for the evening as they battle the relentless heat and scorching sun. But don't be fooled, the activities present aren't mundane and offer some thrilling options.
It should be noted that while of the other weapons to be found all over the faire are plastic, Adopted will see for themselves that there is no mistaking that the items used in these games are incredibly real.
- 🦋 Axe throwing & Archery: Of course, this sounds simple enough, but upon stepping up and picking up your axe or bow, you will find that you cannot stop until all arrows or axes are used (the number of which we leave to you). And your target? Why another Adopted, of course. In a blink, some random Adopted (be they known to you or not) will be selected and strapped to the target board, unable to teleport or wiggle free, trapped in much the same way you are. Until the last munition is used, neither of you can escape.
- Hope you have good aim.
- 🦋 Jousting: Three parties are at war for the jousting trophy - the Seelie, the Unseelie, and the Adopted. Now's your chance to ride for your chosen patron's honor and saddle up. Upon getting on the horse of your chosen patron, it will become impossible to dismount until you win or lose. Take up your lance and shield (did we mention they didn't offer armor?) and knock your opponent off their horse first or risk your own impalement and subsequent dishonor.
- Do not fear, no matter what happens during this event, the horses will be perfectly safe. The Adopted however do not have that same protection.
- 🦋 Darts: Seems simple enough. Much like the other games, once you begin to play you cannot stop until you and your partner reach 0. Upon starting, everything is normal other than the compulsion, but once the first dart is thrown? Well, your partner better have a good constitution because when either of you throw, the other will be hurt in turn. The closer to the bullseye you are, the more painful it will be.
- Isn't teamwork great?
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, tell us all of a time when you saw through a facade that fooled everyone around you. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
no subject
[ "Uh oh," is really more it. ]
there's no... manager i can go to about this?
no way to escalate this to someone ELSE in customer service maybe...?
i just don't think it's very fair to bring people in when they're hungry and then make the food the thing that keeps them here, you know?
like if someone ate four or five of those giant bird thighs i don't think they should be punished for that!
no subject
How did you fit four or five of them
[They're HUGE]
I wouldn't really recommend talking with the management.
no subject
[ And in her defense, they did taste really good. ...She also might've stashed one for when she's back home, for Vaggie. ]
why? pointless bureaucracy reasons?
because i'm usually pretty good about playing the game with people like that
...once i learn the rules they play by
[ Sometimes not even then! ]
no subject
I don't even think they have any rules.
[Nobody is more upset about this potential possibility than him. He's beside himself, you have no idea.]
Except perhaps the matter of eating their food, that rule seems fairly set in stone. I'm very sorry. I don't wish to see you nor anyone here waste their time nor risk their well being attempting to negotiate with them.
no subject
i guess it's good to know all that coming in?
soooo
kinda a silly question but about your username
are you a gabriel or the gabriel
[ Sure, a lot of humans existed with that name, but- If she was here, and large chunks of her phone contacts were here... Worth asking. ]
no subject
[Boring. He means boring.]
I guess it would depend, many worlds are represented here, I'm sure at some point we may in fact get another Gabriel. But, as far as I'm concerned, within my home I would be the one and only Gabriel.
[He's trying to be a little more careful this time, he's not going to get anyone needlessly excited. Can't believe he's not the only Archangel Gabriel to ever live, it's awful.]
I'll have to ask whatever preconceptions you might have in regards to any former Gabriels you may have known be set aside, I don't know them. I'm not them. [He may or may not be sorry about that!]
no subject
and don't worry about it! seriously!
i've never met my gabriel
well
okay, i've met a couple human gabriels
but never my uncle gabriel
which i guess i get!
my dad probably DOES super look like the bad guy from your guys' perspective
no subject
'couple human gabriels' plus 'uncle gabriel' plus 'my dad probably DOES super look like the bad guy from your guys' perspective equals-]
is your father lucifer
[He's misplaced his shift key and he's misplaced his grammar skills. It takes a second before the rest of his brain catches up with his hands, and the (...) prompt appears and vanishes rapidly within the span of several seconds.]
Don't be alarmed if so Ive met him hes very pleasant i didnt knowhe had a child
[He's not getting emotional. He isn't. He's just... very distracted by completely unrelated things and thats why he can't type anymore.]
no subject
But okay, "don't be alarmed" has a greater success rate than "be not afraid" that makes total sense. ]
yup, yeah, lucifer's my dad
my mom's lilith
i'm charlie
well, charlotte
but everyone calls me charlie
so um
hi, nice to meet you, uncle gabriel
[ ...Maybe this is a way around heaven's firewall. Maybe if she can convince Gabriel of her mission, the others would actually listen. Angels really only liked to listen to other angels, after all. ]
no subject
nice to meet you charlie
[Gabriel never really enjoyed using text to reply to people, it had always felt so impersonal. But he couldn't deny the benefit here of not being seen or heard, he'd not look terrifically professional right now if he could be.]
i didn't know it was possible for angels to have children this is quite the surprise forgiveme if i'm a little unprepared.
[He needs just a second here to get his shit together again, hold on.]
Have you found your father yet?
[That might be the best question, just make sure she's actually found Lucifer first before he continued.]
no subject
yeah he helped me out of a bit of a bind with the rat crown situation
i'm actually really happy he's here
makes me feel like, i dunno, being here might not be so bad?
at least short term!
while we all figure out how to get home!
no subject
[Yes, Lucifer is very nice, that is why he has to ask. If anyone would spare a rat he's pretty sure it'd be Lucifer.]
That is a very productive way of viewing things. I agree, we shouldn't be getting bogged down beneath feelings of hopelessness.
[What can he say, he'd rather be optimistic anyway, and the cheer is infectious when you're already naturally predispositioned to it. He will not say that he's not sure if you can even go home, he needs to believe that's a lie.]
It could certainly be a lot worse, that it's so peaceful here gives us all plenty of time to consider our circumstances and how best to overcome them.
If the worst thing I can say is that it's just kind of boring here, then there really is very little to complain about.
[Presently. At the moment.]
May I ask, where are you? I would like to meet you, I believe.
no subject
he definitely didn't destroy the remaining rats
boring might honestly be kinda nice after what i was just dealing with haha...
i'm near the jousting pitch
if you see someone with blonde hair in a red suit, that's me!
text to action!
I know precisely where that is. [He's probably still really close to it, he's been having the time of his life jousting today and he's probably still not learned that you're stuck on that horse until you win or lose.]
Look for someone in white and gold armor, I'll surely be easy enough to spot.
[Well... white and gold armor and wings. Big blue glowing wings and an expansive, elaborate halo that are damn near impossible to miss as he makes his way through the crowd with no small amount of excited anticipation.
No he's really so pumped to meet her.]
no subject
As she approaches, she picks her hand up by the side of her face and gives him a little wave, her glowing eyes sparkling with excitement. ]
Hi, are you- Gabriel? [ She laughs, politely covering her hand with her mouth for a second. ] I mean- [ She gestures down at him and then around in a small circle as she turns. ] It's not like there's too many other people around here who could be you instead, so...
no subject
Gabriel almost mimicked her, though the wave he gave her was sharp, crisp and above all, enthusiastic. If it already seemed like there might be a smile on his face behind the helm, it'd come out bright and clear when he greeted her.]
Like I said, I'm easy enough to spot.
[Cheerful, chipper and just so happy to actually make her acquaintance.] You're the very image of your father, I feel as if I could have spotted you a mile away.
I hope, despite the unfortunate circumstances of our arrival here, that you've been finding some joy here in the festival. I apologize for how... dour I must have sounded over the Leaf, I should try to give this place some credit.
no subject
And no, it's okay! [ She sounds perfectly chipper and optimistic, at least. ] It's probably good someone's being realistic about this place. Especially considering on the surface it can seem... [ Charlie looks around, over people's heads, for a moment, seeing people playing games, talking, eating, and generally being happy. ] Kinda nice.
I know it's nothing compared to Heaven, but this'd be a really nice and peaceful day in Hell. [ An Adopted strapped to a target at the axe throwing booth screams in the background as they're hit. ]
no subject
[He's getting better at admitting it, this feels like progress to him!]
It does look fairly harmless here for the most part, that much I can agree on. It's a shame it feels so insidious once you become aware of what lays behind it.
[Gabriel jerks his head in that direction, trying to see exactly who is screaming and where with a hint of anxiety.]
My issue with that is that this isn't Hell, and should be held to somewhat higher standards of comfort. ... No offense.
[It was Hell though, punishment was the point.]
no subject
[ Anyway! Cheerful topic! ] But, yeah, my dad's great at the fiddle. He used to play for me sometimes when I was little. [ Her face falls slightly as she fidgets with her claws for a couple seconds before she smiles again. ] I... Play the piano and sing. [ And then she does a little tap dance maneuver with a hop and a shuffle. ] And I dance.
I could probably teach you, you know. If you wanted to learn how to sing.