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pixieledmemes2025-05-15 12:28 am
Test Drive Meme #3
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It's another garden party near a large hedge maze in the middle of the night. With his penchant for games the Ruler of the Spring Court decided it would be nice to hold an actual game for all the Adopted present. None of that dreidel game a couple of parties ago. This time, he wants more spectacle with higher stakes. Forced to participate and host aspects of this gathering as well, the Ruler of the Dark Court wanted nothing to do with this, so he figured his participation in itself is for the party to happen at night, during his rule, when his mood is at its most pleasant.
Of course, there is no shortage of light sources such as candles and torches, much to the Earl's chagrin, as well as no shortage of food. This time, the fae decided to try their hand on some pasta. They heard it's a good delicacy from the mortal plane. Thing is, sauces look and smell bizarre. One's purple, while another's bright pink, and they taste fruity, as well as flowery, much like the cookies from the last gathering.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
So, what about this hedge maze that seems to have appeared out of nowhere and looming quite eerily beside this night's gathering? For one, peculiar noises can be heard whenever one's near its entrance. From the rustling of leaves to a woman crying, everything seems to be coming from inside.
Of course, the Adopted's participation is required and paramount. Anyone who refuses will be met with harsh penalties and consequences, whatever those may be. They also hint of a prize to anyone who comes out victorious on the other side. It's unclear what it is, though.
The fae know that while the Adopted have been very useful so far, they are also vulnerable and susceptible to fear, so to mitigate that, they have some colorful shots on a table marked LIQUID COURAGE near the entrance to the maze with such effects:
- Gold: Essentially a strong drink that gives you profound energy for 24 hours.
- Red: Downing this will make you feel warm like an aphrodisiac.
- Blue: Basically functions like a normal tequila shot. Or three. Comes with a little bag of salt.
These shots are not compulsory for the Adopted to take, but they will be highly encouraged to do so before entering. Once inside, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of someone crying become louder and even more evident. There are also a few key things that seem to be very clear the longer an Adopted is within the maze's walls:
- The maze is moving. How it's doing it, nobody knows. But it appears to be alive somehow, much like the castle grounds, so finding a clear pathway is almost impossible.
- Whenever an Adopted turns right two consecutive times, they will see a more positive outcome from a terrible event in their lives. Lost someone? They're now here and alive. Gave up on a dream? You find yourself currently living it.
- If an Adopted turns left two consecutive times, they will see someone, a family member or a friend who's still alive and had a deep impact on their lives, bleeding and dead on the ground.
It would be great if no one else can see an Adopted during their most vulnerable, but since the maze moves constantly, another Adopted or two might be able to see them trying to parse out what they're seeing, even if their fellow Adopted can't see it themselves.
CW: dismemberment, body horror, forced body transformations, mild gore, asphyxiation, drowning of children, death
The Spring King only wanted some good-natured fun within the maze, but unbeknownst to him, some Unseelie creatures and Unseelie magic have appeared inside, threatening the safety of the Adopted traversing every nook and cranny. Surely this will not have any lasting consequences between the relationship of the Seelie and Unseelie court rulers. Not at all.
A few of these Unseelie beings and Unseelie magic roaming around the hedge maze that the Adopted will have a chance to meet are as follows:
- Manananggal: Capable of severing its torso from its legs, this vampiric creature usually preys on sleeping pregnant women and unborn babies. But not anymore. Due to magic put on it, this manananggal will strike anyone it comes across. Better pour salt on its severed lower torso once you find it, or else.
- La Llorona: Remember that woman crying? Well, somewhere in the maze alongside the eerie sounds of water flowing, you'll come across a weeping woman cloaked in white with her back turned against you. Be careful not to approach her because once you do, she'll try to choke you to death, reminiscent of how she drowned her own children.
- Jersey Devil: The first thing you'll hear once you turn is a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream then the sound of bat wings flapping. You better run as fast as you can to the other direction because this devil is out to attack anyone it sees on its path.
- A fountain: How odd. Running from the jersey devil or the manananggal might have made you thirsty so perhaps there's no harm in drinking from it. But just coming in contact with its water will make any Adopted soon realize they have transformed into an Unseelie creature.
Fighting off these creatures might be best with a fellow Adopted. After all, there's power in numbers. Just be careful not to die within the hedge maze. There might be some dire consequences.
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, we want to know a time in your life when you felt lost and wandering about. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
no subject
"You can let go. Y'know. Just- Whenever." Please? "It's not like I can go anywhere." A beat. "The hedges grow faster than I can fly." He swears he's not plotting an escape, honest. Pinky swear. He says nothing about just running off, but that's probably nothing to worry about.
More importantly than whatever plan's starting to cook up in his head, though... "I'd try threats and tell you you're massively outnumbered, but- I know that hardly matters." Hey, them's just the facts; he was outnumbered on Titan, and the Avengers still got trounced.
"But... The guys in charge here, they're-" How to put this...? "Even if any of us still had the Stones here," because Tony's absolutely not mentioning there actually is a set that the royals stole from Cap when he first arrived, "I don't know that they would do much of anything against them; none of us can even touch them." They were practically gods for all the good fighting seemed to do. But Thanos? Thanos might actually have a shot. Which is the worst place for Tony to stuff a bunch of hope, of all things, but here he is, doing it anyway. "Which might make you exactly what the doctor ordered." After all, what do you send to stop a god, but a titan?
"So. You can crush my head right now all you want, but-" He sticks out a hand. An olive branch, a truce. A deal with the devil. "Something tells me you're more interested in getting back home and crushing my head there."
no subject
He releases Tony's head. He doesn't take Tony's hand, though.
"You've been here for some time," Thanos observed. "And you aren't alone."
Stark was desperate, and only questionably useful. But he had intelligence. And he was right, there were new enemies now.
no subject
"I'm so far from alone it's-" Tony's gauntleted right hand - there's still burn marks and scarring in the metal - moves in a slow circle as he tries to find the right word. "Worrying," is where he settles. They might've been down one (1) thunder god, one (1) witch, and one (1) robot, but practically everyone else? Present and accounted for. "With you here, it makes it pretty obvious to me they're targeting our universe for some reason." And if Tony's discussion with Erik gave him anything, it made him realize the fact that the fae were after abilities and powers. Makes sense they would bring Giant Purple Asshole Guy in next.
no subject
"The Lawspeaker mentioned that each of the courts would be making use of us. What did she mean by that?"
no subject
But, more than that... "Frankly, I think they're just building a people zoo and the weirder the specimen they can find is, they better." A beat. "Oh, um- Free advice: Don't trade anything for anything. Think they're collecting any weird powers and abilities we might have." And the last thing the court rulers needed is Thanos's... Anything, really. They were already a nightmare to fight. And Thanos, sans magic, was already a nightmare to fight, so for Tony's blood pressure, he's going to try and steer that ship away from that worst case scenario.
no subject
These creatures seemed to have complete control of their environment. They were the closest things to the conception of Gods Thanos had yet witnessed, including even the Celestials, and especially including the Asgardians. Not mere beings of great power, but beings that were able to bend reality to their whims (or at least *this* reality), not unlike the power he could wield using the Reality Stone, but with greater ease and scale.
What were they trading for, Thanos wondered? Certainly not power that could be used against them. Thanos thought back through the Lawspeaker's lecture, pondering each statement's meaning. The Lawspeaker's lecture seemed more targeted at short-lived species, or at least those that surrounded themselves with them. As an Eternal, Thanos need not worry about dying of old age. But while many of his children were long-lived, especially with the enhancements he had made, they were not immortal. So too was there an expiration date on his army. These Fae threatened to destroy all that he had built.
But that was a false narrative, wasn't it? Tony Stark had already destroyed everything he had built. The Fae had, in fact, saved him from Oblivion. That deserved a certain degree of gratitude, did it not?
The Lawspeaker did not speak of the ability to ultimately return to his universe, possibly with any boons he had earned or traded for while he was in their captivity. But she had said it was up to the Court that adopted him to say what was done. There was a potential here that should not be squandered.
"And these courts? What are they?"
no subject
"The courts are their classification system." A beat. "Like books; you're either fiction or non-fiction, and then from there, there's a couple 'genres'." Do... Do aliens set their libraries up the same way? Tony squints as he realizes that might not be the most universal metaphor. He waves his hands around to try and get Thanos to disregard that.
"You're either Seelie or Unseelie, and from there the rulers select who they want." A beat. "I'm in Spring, for example." And the temptation to mention his shiny, new basically-brainwashing power is strong, but given his current audience, Tony figures he can keep that in his back pocket for emergencies, instead.