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pixieledmemes2025-05-16 12:28 am
Test Drive Meme #3
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It's another garden party near a large hedge maze in the middle of the night. With his penchant for games the Ruler of the Spring Court decided it would be nice to hold an actual game for all the Adopted present. None of that dreidel game a couple of parties ago. This time, he wants more spectacle with higher stakes. Forced to participate and host aspects of this gathering as well, the Ruler of the Dark Court wanted nothing to do with this, so he figured his participation in itself is for the party to happen at night, during his rule, when his mood is at its most pleasant.
Of course, there is no shortage of light sources such as candles and torches, much to the Earl's chagrin, as well as no shortage of food. This time, the fae decided to try their hand on some pasta. They heard it's a good delicacy from the mortal plane. Thing is, sauces look and smell bizarre. One's purple, while another's bright pink, and they taste fruity, as well as flowery, much like the cookies from the last gathering.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
So, what about this hedge maze that seems to have appeared out of nowhere and looming quite eerily beside this night's gathering? For one, peculiar noises can be heard whenever one's near its entrance. From the rustling of leaves to a woman crying, everything seems to be coming from inside.
Of course, the Adopted's participation is required and paramount. Anyone who refuses will be met with harsh penalties and consequences, whatever those may be. They also hint of a prize to anyone who comes out victorious on the other side. It's unclear what it is, though.
The fae know that while the Adopted have been very useful so far, they are also vulnerable and susceptible to fear, so to mitigate that, they have some colorful shots on a table marked LIQUID COURAGE near the entrance to the maze with such effects:
- Gold: Essentially a strong drink that gives you profound energy for 24 hours.
- Red: Downing this will make you feel warm like an aphrodisiac.
- Blue: Basically functions like a normal tequila shot. Or three. Comes with a little bag of salt.
These shots are not compulsory for the Adopted to take, but they will be highly encouraged to do so before entering. Once inside, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of someone crying become louder and even more evident. There are also a few key things that seem to be very clear the longer an Adopted is within the maze's walls:
- The maze is moving. How it's doing it, nobody knows. But it appears to be alive somehow, much like the castle grounds, so finding a clear pathway is almost impossible.
- Whenever an Adopted turns right two consecutive times, they will see a more positive outcome from a terrible event in their lives. Lost someone? They're now here and alive. Gave up on a dream? You find yourself currently living it.
- If an Adopted turns left two consecutive times, they will see someone, a family member or a friend who's still alive and had a deep impact on their lives, bleeding and dead on the ground.
It would be great if no one else can see an Adopted during their most vulnerable, but since the maze moves constantly, another Adopted or two might be able to see them trying to parse out what they're seeing, even if their fellow Adopted can't see it themselves.
CW: dismemberment, body horror, forced body transformations, mild gore, asphyxiation, drowning of children, death
The Spring King only wanted some good-natured fun within the maze, but unbeknownst to him, some Unseelie creatures and Unseelie magic have appeared inside, threatening the safety of the Adopted traversing every nook and cranny. Surely this will not have any lasting consequences between the relationship of the Seelie and Unseelie court rulers. Not at all.
A few of these Unseelie beings and Unseelie magic roaming around the hedge maze that the Adopted will have a chance to meet are as follows:
- Manananggal: Capable of severing its torso from its legs, this vampiric creature usually preys on sleeping pregnant women and unborn babies. But not anymore. Due to magic put on it, this manananggal will strike anyone it comes across. Better pour salt on its severed lower torso once you find it, or else.
- La Llorona: Remember that woman crying? Well, somewhere in the maze alongside the eerie sounds of water flowing, you'll come across a weeping woman cloaked in white with her back turned against you. Be careful not to approach her because once you do, she'll try to choke you to death, reminiscent of how she drowned her own children.
- Jersey Devil: The first thing you'll hear once you turn is a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream then the sound of bat wings flapping. You better run as fast as you can to the other direction because this devil is out to attack anyone it sees on its path.
- A fountain: How odd. Running from the jersey devil or the manananggal might have made you thirsty so perhaps there's no harm in drinking from it. But just coming in contact with its water will make any Adopted soon realize they have transformed into an Unseelie creature.
Fighting off these creatures might be best with a fellow Adopted. After all, there's power in numbers. Just be careful not to die within the hedge maze. There might be some dire consequences.
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, we want to know a time in your life when you felt lost and wandering about. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
no subject
He's an illusion, [she says, looking past Harley to the empty air.] This place is full of 'em. I saw my husband, earlier, and he ain't here. He ain't real, lady. I know he looks it, but he ain't.
You're safe here. Away from him.
no subject
[Huh. Hallucinations weren't on Harley's list for experiences today, but you know what?
She looks back at the Joker, and notices the faint traces of wavering around his body. He's an illusion as much as she is real.
And Nancy, in those few words, has given a lot about herself away. It's not what she says, it's how she emphasises that Harley's safe, that she's away. That she's seen her own husband. That this girl in front of her is safe too. But Harley, for now, isn't going to acknowledge Nancy's plight.]
Everyone thinks I should be scared of him but really, it should be him who's scared of me!
[She suddenly reaches and takes off her ridiculously high heeled shoe and throws it hard at Joker's head with a grunt. The illusion shouts her name as it disappears and the heel lands a few feet away down the path. Harley waits for a beat to see if anything happens, but when it doesn't, she turns to Nancy with that same, falsely-bright smile.]
Harley Quinn, nice t'meet ya. I guess I shoulda done that bit first before you watched me break up with Mr J.
no subject
Nancy barely gets a chance to look at the shoe before the woman in front of her- who truth be told, did look a bit mad- throws it at the illusion. All Nancy sees is a shoe being thrown and bouncing off down the path. She blinks.]
Nice to meet you, Ms. Quinn. I'm Nancy Sikes- though I'm not sure if it counts as a break-up if he ain't there to notice. [She says it good-naturedly, noticing how the woman still seemed like she was playing a role.]
And I must say, you were down-right ferocious. If I were him, I'd be scared of you, too.
no subject
That's Dr. Quinn to you. [Despite everything, Harley is still proud that she earned that distinction. But as she corrects Nancy, she's smiling too, and this time, it's genuine. She offers her arm to the girl so they can walk down the path together to collect her shoe. It doesn't occur to Harley to take the other off, so she bobs along, rising up on her tiptoes to meet the height of the heel as she walks.]
You shoulda seen it at home. He were real broken hearted when we broke up. I mean, who wouldn't be?
[Her words sound slightly hollow, clearly a well practiced story, but Harley doesn't care. Once her shoe is retrieved, Harley turns to Nancy.]
And what about your husband? Us girls gotta stick together, you know?
no subject
Nancy takes her arm.] I apologize, Doctor. Who wouldn't be, indeed? A woman smart and beautiful like you? [Because any way you sliced it, the doctor was a beautiful woman. And her self-assuredness only made her more so.]
Oh, Bill? He ain't here- he's back in London. [She won't go into the details.] He's the one everyone's afraid of back there, too. But not me. [Just like her new companion.]
Too right we do.
no subject
Call me Harley, Red.
[She straightens and catches Nancy by her shoulders. Deadly serious now, she says,]
And we don't let any man fuck with us, hmm? No matter how fucking scary everyone else thinks they are.
no subject
Too right you are. [No man had fucked with her here yet- well, some were rude, but that was just people for you.] They ain't scary to us, not when you've seen 'em sick- they're just like little boys then, wanting their mums.
no subject
[Harley looks at Nancy again properly.] I'm gonna say that you and I are from two very different places. Figures men are assholes at any time. Let him stay in London.
[She fixes her pigtails and wiggles her foot so her shoe is slightly more comfortable.]
I don't think I ever saw Mr J sick. Sick in the fucking head, maybe. That's what I'm a doctor of though. Sick heads.
no subject
[She watches this woman with great curiosity. She seems so sure of her every move. It's breathtaking.] It's the year 1838 back home, and I'm guessing you're from... the 1980s? Somewhere in America.
[She frowns just slightly] Sick heads- you mean you're a doctor at an asylum? Cor- I was always told that's where I'd end up- Bedlam or at the end of a noose.
no subject
Try 2020, Red! I wasn't even born in the '80s! But 1838?
[This place is mad. How'd they do it, resurrecting these long dead people to bring them together with someone like Harley?]
I'm from Gotham. It's a city in America, yeah.
[She laughs again, and tucks Nancy's arm back into her own.]
Doctor, patient, inmate... same old shit, right? But a pretty little thing like you ain't gonna end there. Asylums are for criminals... or the criminally insane. And you? You don't look insane. Trust me, I should know.
[Her eyebrows raise at Nancy's statement about the noose.]
As for a noose? Now that's for the real baddies. Trust me, kid. They're just tryin' to scare you.
cw: hanging imagery
[She shakes her head to think of the 2020s. Another person almost two hundred years in the future from her.
When Harley calls her pretty, she blushes. She wants to argue, tell her how many times she's been called mad, how she nearly felt it in the weeks leading up to arriving here. But she wants to look good, in front of this accomplished woman, wants her to like her something terrible. So she nods, and focuses instead on discussion of the noose.]
No, it's not just to scare- I remember I couldn't have been older'n seven, watching one of the boys I grew up with swing. He kept his mouth shut, but we'd been on edge for days. Poor Peter- [She can still see it, the rope taught as it creaked.] Fagin told all of us that's what awaited us if we got caught. Short drop, sudden stop. It's what they do to lawbreakers. My brother Dodger, he's here, too, he's lucky he only got transported.
no subject
[She comes from a world of superheroes with powers. She herself survived torture and a fall that would have ended most people. Gotham clearly builds them different to other cities around the world.
It's cute to see the other woman blush. It should be a rule, Harley thinks, that people compliment each other more. Uplift each other and all that mushy shit.
But just as Harley is opening her mouth to comment on that, Nancy's talking about actually witnessing a hanging. And for all the murders that Harley has committed, all the bloodshed and pain she's caused, she still winces.]
That's real bad, Nance. Real bad.
[Harley has to thank her lucky stars that she didn't live in Nancy's time, or she would have met her end long ago. Still, she needs to lighten the mood.]
Fuck the cops, right?
no subject
She shrugs off the... judgement? sympathy? She's not sure what it is.] Just the way it is for people like me. All you can do is best hope you don't get caught. [Luckily, life expectancy is low.]
Oh, absolutely! Fuck the cops, anywhere. I don't think there's a single place with decent cops.
no subject
[It doesn't seem the right time to mention that the only people doing any kind of killing around her parts are... well, she doesn't need to remember how many murders she's committed, does she?
Time to get Nancy off such a morose topic.]
Love the freckles, by the way, Red. They look real cute on you. How'd you get them so shiny like that?
no subject
There's a man here who's got a forked tongue now. Others got scales or are turning strange colors.