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pixieledmemes2025-05-16 12:28 am
Test Drive Meme #3
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It's another garden party near a large hedge maze in the middle of the night. With his penchant for games the Ruler of the Spring Court decided it would be nice to hold an actual game for all the Adopted present. None of that dreidel game a couple of parties ago. This time, he wants more spectacle with higher stakes. Forced to participate and host aspects of this gathering as well, the Ruler of the Dark Court wanted nothing to do with this, so he figured his participation in itself is for the party to happen at night, during his rule, when his mood is at its most pleasant.
Of course, there is no shortage of light sources such as candles and torches, much to the Earl's chagrin, as well as no shortage of food. This time, the fae decided to try their hand on some pasta. They heard it's a good delicacy from the mortal plane. Thing is, sauces look and smell bizarre. One's purple, while another's bright pink, and they taste fruity, as well as flowery, much like the cookies from the last gathering.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
So, what about this hedge maze that seems to have appeared out of nowhere and looming quite eerily beside this night's gathering? For one, peculiar noises can be heard whenever one's near its entrance. From the rustling of leaves to a woman crying, everything seems to be coming from inside.
Of course, the Adopted's participation is required and paramount. Anyone who refuses will be met with harsh penalties and consequences, whatever those may be. They also hint of a prize to anyone who comes out victorious on the other side. It's unclear what it is, though.
The fae know that while the Adopted have been very useful so far, they are also vulnerable and susceptible to fear, so to mitigate that, they have some colorful shots on a table marked LIQUID COURAGE near the entrance to the maze with such effects:
- Gold: Essentially a strong drink that gives you profound energy for 24 hours.
- Red: Downing this will make you feel warm like an aphrodisiac.
- Blue: Basically functions like a normal tequila shot. Or three. Comes with a little bag of salt.
These shots are not compulsory for the Adopted to take, but they will be highly encouraged to do so before entering. Once inside, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of someone crying become louder and even more evident. There are also a few key things that seem to be very clear the longer an Adopted is within the maze's walls:
- The maze is moving. How it's doing it, nobody knows. But it appears to be alive somehow, much like the castle grounds, so finding a clear pathway is almost impossible.
- Whenever an Adopted turns right two consecutive times, they will see a more positive outcome from a terrible event in their lives. Lost someone? They're now here and alive. Gave up on a dream? You find yourself currently living it.
- If an Adopted turns left two consecutive times, they will see someone, a family member or a friend who's still alive and had a deep impact on their lives, bleeding and dead on the ground.
It would be great if no one else can see an Adopted during their most vulnerable, but since the maze moves constantly, another Adopted or two might be able to see them trying to parse out what they're seeing, even if their fellow Adopted can't see it themselves.
CW: dismemberment, body horror, forced body transformations, mild gore, asphyxiation, drowning of children, death
The Spring King only wanted some good-natured fun within the maze, but unbeknownst to him, some Unseelie creatures and Unseelie magic have appeared inside, threatening the safety of the Adopted traversing every nook and cranny. Surely this will not have any lasting consequences between the relationship of the Seelie and Unseelie court rulers. Not at all.
A few of these Unseelie beings and Unseelie magic roaming around the hedge maze that the Adopted will have a chance to meet are as follows:
- Manananggal: Capable of severing its torso from its legs, this vampiric creature usually preys on sleeping pregnant women and unborn babies. But not anymore. Due to magic put on it, this manananggal will strike anyone it comes across. Better pour salt on its severed lower torso once you find it, or else.
- La Llorona: Remember that woman crying? Well, somewhere in the maze alongside the eerie sounds of water flowing, you'll come across a weeping woman cloaked in white with her back turned against you. Be careful not to approach her because once you do, she'll try to choke you to death, reminiscent of how she drowned her own children.
- Jersey Devil: The first thing you'll hear once you turn is a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream then the sound of bat wings flapping. You better run as fast as you can to the other direction because this devil is out to attack anyone it sees on its path.
- A fountain: How odd. Running from the jersey devil or the manananggal might have made you thirsty so perhaps there's no harm in drinking from it. But just coming in contact with its water will make any Adopted soon realize they have transformed into an Unseelie creature.
Fighting off these creatures might be best with a fellow Adopted. After all, there's power in numbers. Just be careful not to die within the hedge maze. There might be some dire consequences.
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, we want to know a time in your life when you felt lost and wandering about. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
Sansa Stark | Game of Thrones
Sansa is no stranger to parties even if she hasn't been to one in a long, long while. She remembers the comings and goings of the court at King's Landing and she knows how to navigate the delicate dance of making conversation both light and interesting without revealing much of herself.
At the moment, she's at the refreshment table eating a delicate pastry that she hasn't ever seen the like of before when she hears the lawspeaker give her words. She's mid-swallow and now she hears that if she's eaten of the food, she can no longer leave this place. There must be a way out. There must.
"No, I will not accept this," Sansa says, putting the rest of the pastry down. "I will speak to this lawspeaker myself and negotiate my freedom. I cannot be trapped here. It's simply not an option."
I do not think that it is any business of this place to know my personal thoughts and feelings, reward or not. Considering I have been tricked here, I don't imagine any sort of reward is something to be trusted. Is anyone else falling for this ruse?
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"Continue eating your pasty. We're not talking about anything else other than the food." He smiled for the benefit of anyone watching them and the woman who was about to do something unwise. "Whether or not they're telling the truth they are not about to let us go through force or negotiation. We have nothing to bargain with and no knowledge of who or what they are. They don't care, my lady." He wouldn't have, and he'd been in the exact same position as the Lawspeaker, more or less. With less time travel.
Then again, Kelson's tunic might also be slightly familiar. Gules, a lion rampant guardant or. So sorry.
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"Your arms. Why do you wear the arms of House Lannister but have hair dark as a Baratheon's?"
Upon closer inspection, it is a bit different than the arms she's used to seeing from House Lannister, but people alter their arms for individuality all the time. She had done the same with her own, after all, when she became Queen in the North.
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"My House is Haldane in Gwynedd. All Haldane's have dark hair and grey eyes." Well not all. There were a few more distant Haldane's with blonde hair. His cousin Araxie for instance. But she got that from the Von Horthy line on her mothers side. Either way, this wasn't the first time someone had a problem with his coat of arms. But usually it's because of who and what he is, not mistaken identity.
"Kelson Cinhil Rhys Anthony Haldane, King of Gwynedd, Overlord of Torenth, Prince of Meara.....I could go on if you really want to hear?"
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Kings in the North used to be called the Winter Kings, after all, and Robb had been known as the Young Wolf. She thinks perhaps she might add a few things but she always thought it a bit pompous of Daenerys to add so many titles to her names that you forgot her name before she was done saying them.
"Haldanes apparently look like Starks, then. You have the look of my sister and brother. I haven't heard of Gwynedd. Is it a place like this, displaced from my own home?"
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"Your Majesty then," Kelson gave Sansa a polite bow. "Sometimes it's easier to keep it short. Do I dare ask what happened to this former declared Queen Daenerys Targaryen?"
He popped one of the cookies on his plate in his mouth, pausing to chew and listen before he continued. "You look a little like my mother, her hair at least." Although he thought Sansa wore it better. Less confining. Less hateful. "I am not from here no, the Eleven Kingdoms are....well, set apart from wherever we are now." He was still putting everything together.
"You're a Stark then?" He wasn't entirely sure what it meant but if it was anything like being Haldane? It was important.
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Sansa takes a small glass of what looks like wine and is delighted to find that it's sweeter than any Arbor Gold. If she's stuck here because she's eaten the food, she might as well enjoy their wine.
"Being a Stark in the North is a very big responsibility. We are the line of kings. However, I am the only one left to take my throne which is why they have a queen currently. My family is...scattered to put it lightly."
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Spying the glass of wine Sansa looks like she's enjoying, he takes a glass himself and sips. Not bad. Not quite Fianna Red but good.
"Our two lines sound the same. Haldanes have been kings of Gwynedd for generations." Her situation however, sounded rather poor. "My family line was once in rather dire straights as well. We prevailed, as I'm sure yours will." Platitudes since he couldn't be sure of course, and that would only be true if they made it out of here.
"We'll find our way out of here. You'll be back to help your family and your North and I'll make it back so my uncle doesn't have to be miserable and rule Gwynedd."
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"My family are pursuing their own paths. Technically, my brother is exiled, but I think he's much happier where he is. My sister is exploring the seas and my other brother rules the kingdoms to the south. I am where I am meant to be - except right at the moment. I hope we can convince this Lawspeaker to let us go."
Sansa finishes her wine and considers another glass. It could get her drunk and that is not wise, not in this place.
"Tell me about your Gwynedd. I've never left Westeros."
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"Forgive me if I speak out of turn, but if your brother is in exile, can't you just....overrule it? Change the law?" Since that's exactly what Kelson would have done. Found some obscure law or spoken to person after person until he found a way to get it resolved. Kelson was incredibly stubborn.
"Gwynedd has cold winters and hot summers. Not as hot as some portions of Gwynedd of course, and not nearly as hot as R'Kassi and the like to the south. It's had it's far share of war, more so since I was crowned. I'm trying to undo centuries of bigotry and hatred and mistakes. Think of untangling a giant ball of yarn, except it's multiple balls and it's all one color and some of them are stuck together." Was he a little bitter? Yeah, yeah he was.
"What about your Westeros?"
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Sansa knows that she can hold the hot burn of vengeance in her heart far longer than anyone else she knows but she doesn't think the same of all lords in the North and South.
"Westeros has the same, hot summers and cold winters. Our current winter has lasted two years but I imagine it'll go on a bit longer considering that's a very short winter for us. It never gets truly hot in the North, however. We have snow even in summer."
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Kelson gave her a shocked look and set his cup of wine down. "Two years? Your winters last two years--and thats on the short end?" Yes, he needed you to repeat that because it was horrific.
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—geis, @vhagar
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I can only wonder how many ages have past that what we know as Valyrian is considered "old" in your time.
Yes, I am from Westeros. Though I suspect you wouldn't recognize my version of it.
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And why would I not recognize your version of Westeros?
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A grim future indeed. ]
My mother arrived tonight, but she is my age. It would seem these hosts of ours find amusement in bringing people from different points in time. That is my only explanation, limited as it is.
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I could ask you the same.
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And what is he king of, exactly? With the North independent, the other regions must have claimed theirs as well. I can't imagine the Riverlands would ever let such a thing stand, much less the Iron Islands. [ If he knew Dorne had been folded into the Seven Kingdoms later, he would have cited them first. ]
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text:besthooker
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