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pixieledmemes2025-05-16 12:28 am
Test Drive Meme #3
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It's another garden party near a large hedge maze in the middle of the night. With his penchant for games the Ruler of the Spring Court decided it would be nice to hold an actual game for all the Adopted present. None of that dreidel game a couple of parties ago. This time, he wants more spectacle with higher stakes. Forced to participate and host aspects of this gathering as well, the Ruler of the Dark Court wanted nothing to do with this, so he figured his participation in itself is for the party to happen at night, during his rule, when his mood is at its most pleasant.
Of course, there is no shortage of light sources such as candles and torches, much to the Earl's chagrin, as well as no shortage of food. This time, the fae decided to try their hand on some pasta. They heard it's a good delicacy from the mortal plane. Thing is, sauces look and smell bizarre. One's purple, while another's bright pink, and they taste fruity, as well as flowery, much like the cookies from the last gathering.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
So, what about this hedge maze that seems to have appeared out of nowhere and looming quite eerily beside this night's gathering? For one, peculiar noises can be heard whenever one's near its entrance. From the rustling of leaves to a woman crying, everything seems to be coming from inside.
Of course, the Adopted's participation is required and paramount. Anyone who refuses will be met with harsh penalties and consequences, whatever those may be. They also hint of a prize to anyone who comes out victorious on the other side. It's unclear what it is, though.
The fae know that while the Adopted have been very useful so far, they are also vulnerable and susceptible to fear, so to mitigate that, they have some colorful shots on a table marked LIQUID COURAGE near the entrance to the maze with such effects:
- Gold: Essentially a strong drink that gives you profound energy for 24 hours.
- Red: Downing this will make you feel warm like an aphrodisiac.
- Blue: Basically functions like a normal tequila shot. Or three. Comes with a little bag of salt.
These shots are not compulsory for the Adopted to take, but they will be highly encouraged to do so before entering. Once inside, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of someone crying become louder and even more evident. There are also a few key things that seem to be very clear the longer an Adopted is within the maze's walls:
- The maze is moving. How it's doing it, nobody knows. But it appears to be alive somehow, much like the castle grounds, so finding a clear pathway is almost impossible.
- Whenever an Adopted turns right two consecutive times, they will see a more positive outcome from a terrible event in their lives. Lost someone? They're now here and alive. Gave up on a dream? You find yourself currently living it.
- If an Adopted turns left two consecutive times, they will see someone, a family member or a friend who's still alive and had a deep impact on their lives, bleeding and dead on the ground.
It would be great if no one else can see an Adopted during their most vulnerable, but since the maze moves constantly, another Adopted or two might be able to see them trying to parse out what they're seeing, even if their fellow Adopted can't see it themselves.
CW: dismemberment, body horror, forced body transformations, mild gore, asphyxiation, drowning of children, death
The Spring King only wanted some good-natured fun within the maze, but unbeknownst to him, some Unseelie creatures and Unseelie magic have appeared inside, threatening the safety of the Adopted traversing every nook and cranny. Surely this will not have any lasting consequences between the relationship of the Seelie and Unseelie court rulers. Not at all.
A few of these Unseelie beings and Unseelie magic roaming around the hedge maze that the Adopted will have a chance to meet are as follows:
- Manananggal: Capable of severing its torso from its legs, this vampiric creature usually preys on sleeping pregnant women and unborn babies. But not anymore. Due to magic put on it, this manananggal will strike anyone it comes across. Better pour salt on its severed lower torso once you find it, or else.
- La Llorona: Remember that woman crying? Well, somewhere in the maze alongside the eerie sounds of water flowing, you'll come across a weeping woman cloaked in white with her back turned against you. Be careful not to approach her because once you do, she'll try to choke you to death, reminiscent of how she drowned her own children.
- Jersey Devil: The first thing you'll hear once you turn is a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream then the sound of bat wings flapping. You better run as fast as you can to the other direction because this devil is out to attack anyone it sees on its path.
- A fountain: How odd. Running from the jersey devil or the manananggal might have made you thirsty so perhaps there's no harm in drinking from it. But just coming in contact with its water will make any Adopted soon realize they have transformed into an Unseelie creature.
Fighting off these creatures might be best with a fellow Adopted. After all, there's power in numbers. Just be careful not to die within the hedge maze. There might be some dire consequences.
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, we want to know a time in your life when you felt lost and wandering about. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
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... There's a Hellmouth in California...? ... Seriously, that's not a culturally relevant joke?
[Genuine confusion was in that tone, underscored by a hint of interest.]
Oh- Oh from another world. That part I didn't catch when I got here... Go back for a second- what do you mean there's a Hellmouth in California?
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[Spike sighed, turning his head to the side.]
For a moment there, thought you might be from where I'm from.
[Not that a demon from his world being here would be a good thing. But it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing either.]
There's a Hellmouth in Sunnydale, California. 's a small town about 2 hours north of LA on the coast. There's also a Hellmouth in Cleveland, Illinois. Figures the US would have two of 'em.
[A shrug.]
Got a name? I'm Spike.
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[He seriously doubted it, Szel personally didn't have a very high opinion of anyone in there. The explanation in regards to Hellmouths though seems to irk him a bit.]
Why? How? That's a massive design flaw- is anyone even watching them?
[Which... is maybe not the most demony reaction one could have, and he also doesn't elaborate further on it.]
Szelhamos. Szel, if you're not interested in pronouncing Hungarian.
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[Spike explained, listening to the other.]
Szel it is then. And what're hellmouths where you're from? Where I'm from they're basically places where where paths were used to cut through to other dimensions. Usually various hell ones. So it leaks all kinds of magic and attracts supernatural types like flies to honey.
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[One of these things... he could identify with.]
We have thin spots of course, but nothing that leads directly to Hell unless you know exactly what you're doing. You're more likely to end up in Tir na Nog before you'd ever reach Hell. It's convoluted on purpose: things that go to Hell aren't meant to come back out again.
There's only one true Hellmouth. He's mobile, and the path only goes one way.
[Samael was damn good at his job, Szel could give him that much.]
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Different kind of hellmouth then, and you sound like you're talking capital H. We don't really have a capital H where I'm from, just a lot of smaller h-Hell dimensions. Smaller h, not smaller in number.
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[Was that a rude way of saying it. Midge sneezed, looking away from Spike at last to rapidly dart his eyes around the area instead. There was a better way to put that. Szel gestured, trying to pick something better.]
Like- So Hell isn't a singular place, there...? There's no Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, so on and so forth?
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But your dimensional planning is garbage, I'm so sorry.
[But hey, no one had to tell him that wasn't Spike's fault. Szel seems genuinely bothered by this though, what a mess.]
... Still really interesting though- Is it even for sinners or is it more like a place where demons live?
[By this point, Midge had finally begun to move again. It was an awkward display, the dog walking backwards past Szel to sit just beyond the corner again, briefly peeking back to check and see if anything was coming to interrupt this impromptu interdimensional lecture.]
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[There is some invective there, but it's not personal. Midge probably had no way to tell for certain, but Spike was also keeping on a casual alert. He could smell things in here, besides the other adopted. Wouldn't surprise him if the hedge had more tricks to play on them than just moving about.]
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[And now he knew there was no one else from Spike's home to harass about this either. There was of course no insult taken to the tone. Hey, he gets it, even if he's kind of a part of it.]
... Well I guess that at least indicates the existence of heaven- I'll assume you're allergic to the usual? Crosses, holy water, can't go into someone's house unless you're invited? The sun?
[The last one being the most egregious of the list he'd imagine. Midge huffs and snorts, beginning to trot back and forth from the pair as if irritated.]
... Fuck, we're never going to get out of this goddamn maze, are we.
[Can he walk and talk? Sure! Does he want to go around that corner? ... Debatable!]
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Spike looked at the corgi, before moving to the corner. Listening for a moment, sniffing a bit. Seemed safe enough, as he only smelled green in that direction for now.]
Probably not until it or our captors want us to, but that doesn't mean we have to stand here all night. I'm guessing this is the Spring King's doing, but 'm not sure why it's at night. That might be one of the other ruler's doing it though.
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[There's so many questions. It's obvious he's openly struggling not to keep asking them too, biting his tongue to shut himself up and re-calibrate a little.
Midge snorted and huffed again, still refusing to completely round that corner and walk down the path, and for once Szel directly mimicked that behavior, seeming to peer down the path just the same as the dog.]
I'm so glad they could come together as a team to make everyone fucking miserable, what a heartwarming story.
[Midge was at last starting to actually head down the path at least. Low to the ground as he was, maybe there was considerably less for him to worry about.]
Just... listen really carefully. Some of the bushes are kind of uh... energetic.
Maybe they relaxed by now I don't know.
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[Spike is following Midge. For someone who can be killed by pointy bits of wood, he's sure not worried about pissing off the Hedge.]
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[And he's not sure what to think about that right now, trailing behind Spike. It's certainly not a very inspiring sight; two grown men following a fat orange corgi in a pink cable knit sweater. Szel doesn't seem too concerned about that though.]
Who's the other rulers here? I was... busy with other stuff, didn't catch anything of what was going on at the party.
[He didn't want to talk to them because he's a petty bitch. That parts just implied though.]
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[Spike tried not to sound smug. He had no problem walking down the path, still passively alert.]
You've got 4 seelie rulers, each tied to the seasons, and 4 unseelie rulers, tied to the time of day. Right now, King Narciso for his official name, is in charge because it's spring. About 2 months ago we had another party though, where king Dickweed was hosting along with the Duchess of Dawn. She was actually pleasant enough to chat with.
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King Dickweed seems pretty apt if this is his galaxy brained idea.
[He waves irritably at the bushes, only to yank his hand back down again as one of them rattles oh so gently at him. Was it the wind? Maybe! Not taking any chances though.]
So they're not all incorrigible pieces of shit?
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[Don't taunt the killer shrubbery unless you're looking for a fight.]
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Just like that, it was gone again, the sound of glass chimes rattling in the wind like a distant echo.]
Noted, don't talk to King Dickweed.
[His voice turned smooth as smoke, then relaxed once more.]
What does he look like? Just so I know who I'm not talking to?
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[Spike caught that brief scent, his nose twitching. He makes note, but doesn't bring it up.]
Anyone in Spring has that ability btw, including us adopted if we want. Dunno if any of us can brainwash people though, and I'm pretty sure a bunch of the do-gooder types would frown and handle anyone who did.
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[He'd say that nice and loud too, gosh he hopes someone hears him, fuck them.]
So who 'adopted' you? Spring as well, or did you manage to get snapped up by someone marginally less shitty?
no subject