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pixieledmemes2025-05-16 12:28 am
Test Drive Meme #3
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It's another garden party near a large hedge maze in the middle of the night. With his penchant for games the Ruler of the Spring Court decided it would be nice to hold an actual game for all the Adopted present. None of that dreidel game a couple of parties ago. This time, he wants more spectacle with higher stakes. Forced to participate and host aspects of this gathering as well, the Ruler of the Dark Court wanted nothing to do with this, so he figured his participation in itself is for the party to happen at night, during his rule, when his mood is at its most pleasant.
Of course, there is no shortage of light sources such as candles and torches, much to the Earl's chagrin, as well as no shortage of food. This time, the fae decided to try their hand on some pasta. They heard it's a good delicacy from the mortal plane. Thing is, sauces look and smell bizarre. One's purple, while another's bright pink, and they taste fruity, as well as flowery, much like the cookies from the last gathering.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
So, what about this hedge maze that seems to have appeared out of nowhere and looming quite eerily beside this night's gathering? For one, peculiar noises can be heard whenever one's near its entrance. From the rustling of leaves to a woman crying, everything seems to be coming from inside.
Of course, the Adopted's participation is required and paramount. Anyone who refuses will be met with harsh penalties and consequences, whatever those may be. They also hint of a prize to anyone who comes out victorious on the other side. It's unclear what it is, though.
The fae know that while the Adopted have been very useful so far, they are also vulnerable and susceptible to fear, so to mitigate that, they have some colorful shots on a table marked LIQUID COURAGE near the entrance to the maze with such effects:
- Gold: Essentially a strong drink that gives you profound energy for 24 hours.
- Red: Downing this will make you feel warm like an aphrodisiac.
- Blue: Basically functions like a normal tequila shot. Or three. Comes with a little bag of salt.
These shots are not compulsory for the Adopted to take, but they will be highly encouraged to do so before entering. Once inside, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of someone crying become louder and even more evident. There are also a few key things that seem to be very clear the longer an Adopted is within the maze's walls:
- The maze is moving. How it's doing it, nobody knows. But it appears to be alive somehow, much like the castle grounds, so finding a clear pathway is almost impossible.
- Whenever an Adopted turns right two consecutive times, they will see a more positive outcome from a terrible event in their lives. Lost someone? They're now here and alive. Gave up on a dream? You find yourself currently living it.
- If an Adopted turns left two consecutive times, they will see someone, a family member or a friend who's still alive and had a deep impact on their lives, bleeding and dead on the ground.
It would be great if no one else can see an Adopted during their most vulnerable, but since the maze moves constantly, another Adopted or two might be able to see them trying to parse out what they're seeing, even if their fellow Adopted can't see it themselves.
CW: dismemberment, body horror, forced body transformations, mild gore, asphyxiation, drowning of children, death
The Spring King only wanted some good-natured fun within the maze, but unbeknownst to him, some Unseelie creatures and Unseelie magic have appeared inside, threatening the safety of the Adopted traversing every nook and cranny. Surely this will not have any lasting consequences between the relationship of the Seelie and Unseelie court rulers. Not at all.
A few of these Unseelie beings and Unseelie magic roaming around the hedge maze that the Adopted will have a chance to meet are as follows:
- Manananggal: Capable of severing its torso from its legs, this vampiric creature usually preys on sleeping pregnant women and unborn babies. But not anymore. Due to magic put on it, this manananggal will strike anyone it comes across. Better pour salt on its severed lower torso once you find it, or else.
- La Llorona: Remember that woman crying? Well, somewhere in the maze alongside the eerie sounds of water flowing, you'll come across a weeping woman cloaked in white with her back turned against you. Be careful not to approach her because once you do, she'll try to choke you to death, reminiscent of how she drowned her own children.
- Jersey Devil: The first thing you'll hear once you turn is a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream then the sound of bat wings flapping. You better run as fast as you can to the other direction because this devil is out to attack anyone it sees on its path.
- A fountain: How odd. Running from the jersey devil or the manananggal might have made you thirsty so perhaps there's no harm in drinking from it. But just coming in contact with its water will make any Adopted soon realize they have transformed into an Unseelie creature.
Fighting off these creatures might be best with a fellow Adopted. After all, there's power in numbers. Just be careful not to die within the hedge maze. There might be some dire consequences.
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, we want to know a time in your life when you felt lost and wandering about. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
no subject
On the outside, however, Cale appears as unfazed as ever. Just because he's a shrimp against whales doesn't mean he'll back down so easily... Well, mostly because the duke obviously has no intent to harm him for now. Otherwise Cale would retreat before getting sent to the afterlife, or worse.
"To be compared to someone as elegant, graceful, and powerful as my lady Zorya is an undeserved honour." The words tumble out on autopilot, though he does feel a faintly pleased. "I am simply speaking as expected of the eldest son of a duke."
And, honestly speaking, his mother would be upset with him if he spoke like some uncultured punk in this situation. Which is somehow a scarier thought than even pissing off a Court ruler.
"I don't doubt your intention with these parties, Lord Lux. It was why I assumed there was an external factor influencing tonight's events," Cale responds. "Putting both Adopted and Unseelie at risk doesn't align with what I've seen of you Unseelie rulers."
It was part of why, no matter how enraged he was, Cale never actually delivered a killing blow to that La Llorona. The situation felt too weird.
"But blaming the other Court as a whole is counterproductive, sir. It's still Spring, meaning if there is any fault it probably lies with the narcissistic king. Having him as a colleague is punishment enough for the other Seelie rulers."
Cale is infinitely grateful to be in the Unseelie Court, as far away from Narciso as possible.
"Because of their apparent inaction during the dragon attack, followed by his majesty's continued antics — especially the use of his abilities to manipulate consent — the Unseelie Court is currently viewed upon more favourably by the Adopted. You could say he is like a permanent debuff to the Seelie reputation."
no subject
The Duke's exasperation is obvious as his mouth curls into a distastefully little sneer, golden eyes flashing.
"One moment you say that you trust in our decisions, and then the very next, you imply that we've made a mistake. Trust me when I say that no mistakes were made. The party went off exactly as intended, no matter what pre-conceived notions you have of us. We have everything under control, just as we always do, and if you have any complaints, send them to the Lawspeaker. She'll deal with them herself."
At this point, there has to be a Suggestion Box somewhere for the Adopted to just write down their complaints on. If not, someone needs to get on it immediately.
"That said, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest the Unseelie are more favorably viewed. Especially this month." All of the court rulers had been quick to disappear the moment Narciso sprouted all of those mini Narcisos at the beginning of the month. "Our ranks have always been more put together than theirs. The seasons may be more wildly celebrated, but nothing would move without the phases of day. Our reign is consistent, reliable, and fully equal. The seasons are so much more flighty."
no subject
"...But I never said I trusted you? I've memorized enough of the library to know better." Cale trusts data and his own experiences. According to both of those things, trusting a fae is just asking to be fucked over. "And you know the Lawspeaker will reject our attempts at speaking with her. Have a system set up where Adopted can make suggestions, complaints, and concerns anonymously if any of you care about our opinions."
Given what Cale has heard of the duke's personality, it doesn't surprise him that he isn't surprised.
"After this event you'll likely be viewed less favourably, sir. Causing intense emotional and physical trauma is not something recommended during a welcoming party," he points out. "If not for your actions during the dragon attack and his majesty Narciso being..."
Cale pauses briefly, unsure of what adjective to use here. He takes another drink from his bottle of wine, then continues in surprisingly decent (the curse words are all pronounced perfectly) mazikeen:
"a perverted bastard who thinks only with his dick—"
Cale shifts back to his native language.
"—I would probably hold the Seelie in higher regard, sir."
Duke Lux's comment about the Unseelie reign being 'fully equal' does earn a mildly curious look. Cale has noticed the days growing longer as they approach summer.
"Seasons would be nothing without Time to keep nature flowing as it should." That's easy to agree with. "Are your Unseelie times of rule based you each having eight hours regardless of the sun's position?"
no subject
Cale wouldn't be able to make out a thing - not the table, the chairs, the spread of delicious food, and certainly not the Duke himself. It is as if Lux has vanished entirely, though when he chooses to speak, his deep voice curls around the other man's ear.
"It is not your place to speak ill of any of us, including the king. You, who are but our guest, do not insult us so freely or you will be made an example of. You, whose life is but a comma compared to our novels, a single drop of water compared to our oceans. You, who live in the present moment, while we exist across all of time at once. We have borne witness to the very creation of this world, lived as silent observers to the very ebb and flow of time."
Abruptly, Lux's voice shifts, curling around Cale's other ear.
"Your mortal mind can not comprehend the lives we have lived. And when all trace of your life has disappeared, we will continue on well past your pathetic mortal legacy."
A hand curls at Cale's shoulder, but should he look, there will be nothing there.
"Take this as your warning, Cale Henituse. You'd do well to heed it."
And just as quickly as Cale was plunged into darkness, the light returns as if nothing happened. Only the Duke is nowhere to be found.
no subject
'Guest' my ass.
What bullshit.
Once the fae has finished his speech and disappeared he stays silent for a moment.
Then he bursts out laughing.
"Ha! How surprising!" He chuckles. "The Unseelie duke defending the honour of the Seelie king? Maybe the alliance isn't so tenuous after all?"
What useful information to have.
"It's true that I cannot comprehend your lives, but I wouldn't want to. I respect and admire your ability to maintain your sanity through countless years of loss and loneliness." It's spoken in earnest, laughter gone for the moment. "It was my choice to stay as a pathetic mortal because I didn't want to live such a life myself.
So, if you're still here, I appreciate the compliment and the information Lord Lux of the Unseelie Court."
Cale gives an exaggerated-but-proper bow to the ruler's table, not caring who may or may not be there.
"I'm going to go try and get wasted so I can forget tonight!" Not that it would work. "If her highness Javora or the lady Zorya want to join later I have another bottle Henituse red. Duke Lux can come by as well if he wants to try some dalgona dessert."
Cale doesn't actually expect any of them to stop by. He gives a half-bow and waves farewell.
"Bye!"