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pixieledmemes2025-05-16 12:28 am
Test Drive Meme #3
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It's another garden party near a large hedge maze in the middle of the night. With his penchant for games the Ruler of the Spring Court decided it would be nice to hold an actual game for all the Adopted present. None of that dreidel game a couple of parties ago. This time, he wants more spectacle with higher stakes. Forced to participate and host aspects of this gathering as well, the Ruler of the Dark Court wanted nothing to do with this, so he figured his participation in itself is for the party to happen at night, during his rule, when his mood is at its most pleasant.
Of course, there is no shortage of light sources such as candles and torches, much to the Earl's chagrin, as well as no shortage of food. This time, the fae decided to try their hand on some pasta. They heard it's a good delicacy from the mortal plane. Thing is, sauces look and smell bizarre. One's purple, while another's bright pink, and they taste fruity, as well as flowery, much like the cookies from the last gathering.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
So, what about this hedge maze that seems to have appeared out of nowhere and looming quite eerily beside this night's gathering? For one, peculiar noises can be heard whenever one's near its entrance. From the rustling of leaves to a woman crying, everything seems to be coming from inside.
Of course, the Adopted's participation is required and paramount. Anyone who refuses will be met with harsh penalties and consequences, whatever those may be. They also hint of a prize to anyone who comes out victorious on the other side. It's unclear what it is, though.
The fae know that while the Adopted have been very useful so far, they are also vulnerable and susceptible to fear, so to mitigate that, they have some colorful shots on a table marked LIQUID COURAGE near the entrance to the maze with such effects:
- Gold: Essentially a strong drink that gives you profound energy for 24 hours.
- Red: Downing this will make you feel warm like an aphrodisiac.
- Blue: Basically functions like a normal tequila shot. Or three. Comes with a little bag of salt.
These shots are not compulsory for the Adopted to take, but they will be highly encouraged to do so before entering. Once inside, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of someone crying become louder and even more evident. There are also a few key things that seem to be very clear the longer an Adopted is within the maze's walls:
- The maze is moving. How it's doing it, nobody knows. But it appears to be alive somehow, much like the castle grounds, so finding a clear pathway is almost impossible.
- Whenever an Adopted turns right two consecutive times, they will see a more positive outcome from a terrible event in their lives. Lost someone? They're now here and alive. Gave up on a dream? You find yourself currently living it.
- If an Adopted turns left two consecutive times, they will see someone, a family member or a friend who's still alive and had a deep impact on their lives, bleeding and dead on the ground.
It would be great if no one else can see an Adopted during their most vulnerable, but since the maze moves constantly, another Adopted or two might be able to see them trying to parse out what they're seeing, even if their fellow Adopted can't see it themselves.
CW: dismemberment, body horror, forced body transformations, mild gore, asphyxiation, drowning of children, death
The Spring King only wanted some good-natured fun within the maze, but unbeknownst to him, some Unseelie creatures and Unseelie magic have appeared inside, threatening the safety of the Adopted traversing every nook and cranny. Surely this will not have any lasting consequences between the relationship of the Seelie and Unseelie court rulers. Not at all.
A few of these Unseelie beings and Unseelie magic roaming around the hedge maze that the Adopted will have a chance to meet are as follows:
- Manananggal: Capable of severing its torso from its legs, this vampiric creature usually preys on sleeping pregnant women and unborn babies. But not anymore. Due to magic put on it, this manananggal will strike anyone it comes across. Better pour salt on its severed lower torso once you find it, or else.
- La Llorona: Remember that woman crying? Well, somewhere in the maze alongside the eerie sounds of water flowing, you'll come across a weeping woman cloaked in white with her back turned against you. Be careful not to approach her because once you do, she'll try to choke you to death, reminiscent of how she drowned her own children.
- Jersey Devil: The first thing you'll hear once you turn is a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream then the sound of bat wings flapping. You better run as fast as you can to the other direction because this devil is out to attack anyone it sees on its path.
- A fountain: How odd. Running from the jersey devil or the manananggal might have made you thirsty so perhaps there's no harm in drinking from it. But just coming in contact with its water will make any Adopted soon realize they have transformed into an Unseelie creature.
Fighting off these creatures might be best with a fellow Adopted. After all, there's power in numbers. Just be careful not to die within the hedge maze. There might be some dire consequences.
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, we want to know a time in your life when you felt lost and wandering about. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
no subject
Actually, it is very. But!
[ he tucks his hands behind his head. while he chats, he does keep his gaze sharp for anything that might burst from the hedges. actually -- when you have perfect night vision, and a radiant being blasting light ahead, this is somehow more distracting. ]
You did miss out last month. Where some of us sang stories with little flower fairies, cuddled bumblebees, tended to their toddlers. We were rewarded [ spoken pointedly, in case gabriel feels inclined to adjust his expectation of a "reward": ] with petal hats and honey drops, the like.
[ okay, he also got a cool weapon out of it, but shh. he's a djinni, so he might be sprucing this retelling up a bit. ]
no subject
What? What's so funny, I didn't make a joke.
[Yeah, those condolences were serious, he meant that! Anyone who wasn't an angel, Gabriel was quickly surmising, was just weird. Everyone here is a freak except him, obviously. In contrast to Faquarl, Gabriel remains tense, his posture not dissimilar from a marching soldier. No relaxation here, no sir.]
... Surely though, the reward would match the difficulty of the task. How hard could it possibly be to... what did you say? 'Cuddle bumblebees?' ...
[That actually sounded really hard now that he thought about it, bees were pretty tiny. He's overthinking this a lot.]
Babysitting isn't difficult, they're children. They can't do anything.
[Resident baby expert Gabriel Judge of Hell]
no subject
Oh, nothing. Sometimes, it's best to handle grim situations with a grim sense of humor...
[ his eyebrows shoot upwards as gabriel finishes speaking. he realizes it's wholly possible he'd misread this one as strictly a fierce, dedicated warrior, but also Chief Baby Handler. ]
This isn't about difficulty; it's about dignity. I'd rather be wandering a hedge maze than wrangling shrieking toddlers. [ after a reflective pause, ] If you excel at that sort of grunt work, though, the Fae might put that to good use. You're welcome to my slack, also, if you'd like.
no subject
Oh. I've heard of this before, I believe. Mortals call it 'gallows humor', if I am not mistaken.
[Yeah, he's kind of an expert on humans. Kind of. No really, only kind of, he definitely knows more than anyone else in Heaven but he's starting to get the idea that he may have... missed a few things...]
I won't disagree that navigating a dangerous maze is far more difficult, and far more worthy of my time. But child care is a necessary and important task that should carry a certain amount of gravity. [Just... you know... Not important enough for him.] I can think of a lot of tasks that are far less dignified.
Babysitting however is not my purpose, that wasn't one of the duties I was created to carry out. [Which is a very fancy way of saying 'no I will not fucking babysit ew gross]
no subject
[ gallows humor, a longtime favorite. ]
[ but any smile fades when he mentions child care as a necessary and important task that should carry a certain amount of gravity, which is grossly serious in favoring successful human reproduction. at his back, faquarl makes a gagging expression. ughh. ]
[ otherwise, he adopts a more serious sentiment; his gaze bores into the back of gabriel's head at the mention of duties. faquarl's suspected that he's an angel of sorts by now, obviously, perhaps even some distant cousin - even if they're creatures of myth within his world, he's encountered just as novel about the realm of fae. about time he confirms. ]
And what would your "duties" be, then? The purpose behind your creation...?
no subject
Of course, he didn't even notice the change in Faquarl's expression, so he was left to enjoy his really, really minor and inconsequential moment of validation untroubled.
There is something to be said for the intensity of his current companion's stare though. For as socially oblivious as the angel could be, if there was one thing he'd become very familiar with it was the sensation of being stared at. He just barely looks back at him, as if to show he'd acknowledged the look.]
To enforce the Will of the Father, and deliver punishment to those who would defy His Word.
[It's still said with a level of pride and resolution but the tone falters some at the end. Just like everything else about Gabriel, it wasn't subtle.]
At least it... Was. My core tenets remain the same, regardless of who commands me.
[Which certainly sounds like an extremely roundabout way of saying someone here got a little heretical.]
no subject
I'm almost impressed they've managed to snare you.
[ ah, hm.
he bites his tongue, thinks on what he really knows of the human's angels, should that be translatable. they're certainly present within their texts. faquarl switches his hands to rest into his pockets, forcibly glances away and back again so as to break the intensity of his stare. ]
Who is it that commands you now, if not the Father or the Fae? [ a pause-- this does beg the question for him: ] Do you have free will?
Yahoo was hungry, where did this notif even go
[As far as he was concerned that was nothing short of the truth. Even with the Light of the Father severed from him, it shouldn't have been that easy to drag him here.
His pace has slowed a bit now, stalling out to a complete halt as Faquarl poses the question. He might have decided to break that stare, but Gabriel held his for a while, and the silence before he answered was both considering and unsure.
Well, he was at least moderately sure about the answer, even if saying it made him sound distinctly uncomfortable.]
I do.
[It answered both, quite neatly.]
yahoo how could you
faquarl may have looked away, but now that gabriel's holding the stare (as much as he can tell through the helmet, anyway, which admittedly isn't much), he has this animalistic feeling of like he's lost out on alpha status. ... which he finds bothersome, so he returns the look. ]
[ while he smiles, he forcibly moderates what would otherwise be excitement. ]
Why the unease? [ perhaps he could guess; he'll leave it to gabriel to confirm. ] Free will should be a cause for celebration! Our current state of affairs of being ... stuck in a labyrinth aside, I'd hope you could find some joy in it.
no subject
Free will is a mistake. [It came more like an automated response; abrupt and clearly not thought out, before he hesitated and continued.] At least, that was what I- we were all lead to believe. It results in nothing but disobedience, and sin.
[It was easy to hear the resolution bleeding out in his tone though. After all, now that he has it, the idea of losing it was almost terrifying.]
... But. I do intend on enjoying it to it's fullest upon my return. I can assure you of that.
[As even and cool as he sounds at that moment there's still some inescapable hint of violence bubbling around in the undertone.]
no subject
Delightful news.
[ even if the assurance of violence hadn't seeped into his tone - faquarl would feel the same in saying so. but he thinks he does hear it, and he'd be hypocritical not to find that relatable. ]
Mm. Well, depending on your definition of "enjoyment," obnoxious as our captivity tends to be — we do tend to have enormous amounts of spare time. They're lenient for supposed masters. [ a gilded cage is still a cage, etc, he knows. ] Not to say you'll be trapped here long, of course, as you've assured.
no subject
Admitting it right now would be quitting, though.]
As I've assured. [No room for entertainment. ... But that... being said-]
How long have you been held here? And what other manners of injustice have you been subject to? [He's not planning for just in case! He isn't! He's definitely not already getting surly about it.]