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pixieledmemes2025-05-16 12:28 am
Test Drive Meme #3
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It's another garden party near a large hedge maze in the middle of the night. With his penchant for games the Ruler of the Spring Court decided it would be nice to hold an actual game for all the Adopted present. None of that dreidel game a couple of parties ago. This time, he wants more spectacle with higher stakes. Forced to participate and host aspects of this gathering as well, the Ruler of the Dark Court wanted nothing to do with this, so he figured his participation in itself is for the party to happen at night, during his rule, when his mood is at its most pleasant.
Of course, there is no shortage of light sources such as candles and torches, much to the Earl's chagrin, as well as no shortage of food. This time, the fae decided to try their hand on some pasta. They heard it's a good delicacy from the mortal plane. Thing is, sauces look and smell bizarre. One's purple, while another's bright pink, and they taste fruity, as well as flowery, much like the cookies from the last gathering.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
So, what about this hedge maze that seems to have appeared out of nowhere and looming quite eerily beside this night's gathering? For one, peculiar noises can be heard whenever one's near its entrance. From the rustling of leaves to a woman crying, everything seems to be coming from inside.
Of course, the Adopted's participation is required and paramount. Anyone who refuses will be met with harsh penalties and consequences, whatever those may be. They also hint of a prize to anyone who comes out victorious on the other side. It's unclear what it is, though.
The fae know that while the Adopted have been very useful so far, they are also vulnerable and susceptible to fear, so to mitigate that, they have some colorful shots on a table marked LIQUID COURAGE near the entrance to the maze with such effects:
- Gold: Essentially a strong drink that gives you profound energy for 24 hours.
- Red: Downing this will make you feel warm like an aphrodisiac.
- Blue: Basically functions like a normal tequila shot. Or three. Comes with a little bag of salt.
These shots are not compulsory for the Adopted to take, but they will be highly encouraged to do so before entering. Once inside, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of someone crying become louder and even more evident. There are also a few key things that seem to be very clear the longer an Adopted is within the maze's walls:
- The maze is moving. How it's doing it, nobody knows. But it appears to be alive somehow, much like the castle grounds, so finding a clear pathway is almost impossible.
- Whenever an Adopted turns right two consecutive times, they will see a more positive outcome from a terrible event in their lives. Lost someone? They're now here and alive. Gave up on a dream? You find yourself currently living it.
- If an Adopted turns left two consecutive times, they will see someone, a family member or a friend who's still alive and had a deep impact on their lives, bleeding and dead on the ground.
It would be great if no one else can see an Adopted during their most vulnerable, but since the maze moves constantly, another Adopted or two might be able to see them trying to parse out what they're seeing, even if their fellow Adopted can't see it themselves.
CW: dismemberment, body horror, forced body transformations, mild gore, asphyxiation, drowning of children, death
The Spring King only wanted some good-natured fun within the maze, but unbeknownst to him, some Unseelie creatures and Unseelie magic have appeared inside, threatening the safety of the Adopted traversing every nook and cranny. Surely this will not have any lasting consequences between the relationship of the Seelie and Unseelie court rulers. Not at all.
A few of these Unseelie beings and Unseelie magic roaming around the hedge maze that the Adopted will have a chance to meet are as follows:
- Manananggal: Capable of severing its torso from its legs, this vampiric creature usually preys on sleeping pregnant women and unborn babies. But not anymore. Due to magic put on it, this manananggal will strike anyone it comes across. Better pour salt on its severed lower torso once you find it, or else.
- La Llorona: Remember that woman crying? Well, somewhere in the maze alongside the eerie sounds of water flowing, you'll come across a weeping woman cloaked in white with her back turned against you. Be careful not to approach her because once you do, she'll try to choke you to death, reminiscent of how she drowned her own children.
- Jersey Devil: The first thing you'll hear once you turn is a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream then the sound of bat wings flapping. You better run as fast as you can to the other direction because this devil is out to attack anyone it sees on its path.
- A fountain: How odd. Running from the jersey devil or the manananggal might have made you thirsty so perhaps there's no harm in drinking from it. But just coming in contact with its water will make any Adopted soon realize they have transformed into an Unseelie creature.
Fighting off these creatures might be best with a fellow Adopted. After all, there's power in numbers. Just be careful not to die within the hedge maze. There might be some dire consequences.
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, we want to know a time in your life when you felt lost and wandering about. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
Unseeli It
As far as Lena knows, this is a stand-off between two monsters from this world. How's she to know that one of them is a fellow Adopted? More importantly, how is she supposed to get past them? In this section of the maze, there's only one way forward, and it's between the gruesome twosome.
She can hope that they take each other out, but luck's never been on her side. For now, she tries to stick to the shadows, quietly watching. She begins digging under her sweater for her glowing dagger in case things get worse. ]
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You're good where you are, trust me.
[This game of chicken was apparently reaching it's breaking point for him, as he took one big old step back from the slavering vampiric thing, wings still outstretched and rattling. Seeing its chance, the creature suddenly surged forward after him, shrieking in triumph.
Prematurely, as it would happen. Because the 'dog' is still here. It erupts from the hedge, a blur of orange becoming a hideous amalgamation of blackened chitinous segments and spindly limbs, the manananggal going from predator to prey in a matter of seconds as its snapped back into the bushes once more.
... It's a working strategy, he's no noble knight, playing fair is for chumps.]
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and the battle's already done. She blinks rapidly, unsure what exactly even happened. Is there a third monster now??? ]
What is that thing?
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Just Midge. Don't worry about it; unless you're planning on using that knife, you really don't have anything to worry about.
[The wings folded behind him, tucking themselves back in from bottom to top row before simply vanishing altogether.]
... Are you a duck?
[Because you know, that's the strangest thing going on here.]
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just. it. okay. FINE. Whatever. She gives up. Why should this place start making sense now? ]
No. I'm several hundred rats in a feathery suit.
[ The sarcasm is as thick as the bushes. But at least she's putting the dagger away. ]
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[Sarcasm matched beat for beat right there with absolutely no hesitation.]
And if you're pulling a knife on anything in this maze, that's either even more impressive or a desperate cry for help.
[She'd done it with an admirable amount of confidence, at least as far as he could personally tell. If nothing else it was highly noteworthy.]
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[ She sticks her hands into her sweater pockets. ]
I take it this means you're actually one of us? Adopted?
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[The dog's taken a seat at his masters feet at this point, staring unblinking at Lena as his little pink tongue rolls lazily out of his mouth.]
Tragically. I was really hoping to skip the nightmare horror maze today but apparently I can just go fuck myself.
Have to say, you've made it pretty far with just the knife on you, how have you even been getting around everything without being seen?
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[ Speaking of which, she should probably start walking again, now that it's safe... or at least relatively safe. ]
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[He even steps aside, and makes room for her to pass, Midge quick to do the same as he waddles along to stay right beside the demon.]
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The way I came leads to nowhere but a lady sobbing in white. Might as well be holding a giant sign that says "TRAP".
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Well that direction has a Jersey Devil problem in it, and Midge's party trick doesn't work so well on him.
[That definitely has nothing to do with the fact that someone here picked a fight with the maze and now it won't let them go any higher.
That's not his fault.
It might be his fault.]no subject
[ Sigh. She shakes her head, trying to pass on... but she can't help but stop to give the doggo an ear scritch. Even tsun teens can't resist a corgi. ]
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Szel, on the other hand, only looks increasingly cranky.]
You're going anyway?
[Well yes, of course she was, that was in fact literally the only way to go, and as soon as he said it he kind of wished he'd worked on that filter a little better earlier in his life. Can he salvage this?]
What good is that knife going to do you anyway?
[Granted, the entire time he's bitching, the dog is decidedly abandoning him in favor of Lena. A fact that has not escaped his notice hey]
Hey. HEY. Just- Wait a second!
[He's only following because Midge is!!! That's the only reason!!!!!]
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Looks like someone here has good taste. Shame it can't be said for everyone else.
[ Still decidedly not answering the questions about the dagger. ]
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eyesdog goddamnit! Midge showed no inclination to stop either, trotting along behind her as if he damn well knew what the greater demon behind him would do.Follow them, of course, getting even more irate as the dog caught the grin on her face.]
Shut up.
[The corridor ahead of them was, despite all of his warnings, silent. Maybe the Devil had moved on? Midge had at this point pushed ahead of Lena, sniffing the air, alert and inquisitive.]
Christ... Alright maybe it fucked off...
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Oh, and don't expect any kind of real reward for doing this thing we were forced into. They always say they'll reward us, and then it's either nothing or next to useless.
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[He wished he could be surprised. The exasperation is heavy in his voice as Midge peers around the next corner for them.]
Why even bother then? May as well just be honest about it.
"We're torturing you for fun, here's a handful of monopoly money for your trouble."
[He reaches under the glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.]
.... I hate fairies.
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[ She begins counting off her fingers. ]
And this is without you having fought the dragon, shrinking down to the size of a bee, having to dodge the king's living pollen...
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... What is 'living pollen'?
[That's what he's getting hung up on, dragons and shrinking is all fine and normal, everyone's done that.]
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[ says the anthropomorphic duck.
She keeps her tone calm as she can, though it does uptick in annoyed remembering every so often. ]
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[Midge is paying very close attention to this now, circling back around from the hedge to stare at the two of them intently.]
I mean if it happens every year, probably wouldn't hurt to get a game plan in mind now...
... Next hall is clear by the way, I think our Jersey friend went to find something a little easier to chew on.
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... I'm not staying here that long.
[ She won't. She can't. She has to get back. ]