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pixieledmemes2025-05-16 12:28 am
Test Drive Meme #3
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You wake up at a party.
You're not sure how, exactly, you got here. You may have just been walking in the woods or at a meeting for work or doing any other normal activity for you. But you know you weren't supposed to be at this party, you're fairly certain.
Anyone you ask about it will say the party is for you. You and the others also waking up and looking confused. Further questions will lead to the partygoers insisting you have something to eat. You're starving and others are eating the food without repercussion, so you figure there's no harm in a bite. You finish your portion.
It's another garden party near a large hedge maze in the middle of the night. With his penchant for games the Ruler of the Spring Court decided it would be nice to hold an actual game for all the Adopted present. None of that dreidel game a couple of parties ago. This time, he wants more spectacle with higher stakes. Forced to participate and host aspects of this gathering as well, the Ruler of the Dark Court wanted nothing to do with this, so he figured his participation in itself is for the party to happen at night, during his rule, when his mood is at its most pleasant.
Of course, there is no shortage of light sources such as candles and torches, much to the Earl's chagrin, as well as no shortage of food. This time, the fae decided to try their hand on some pasta. They heard it's a good delicacy from the mortal plane. Thing is, sauces look and smell bizarre. One's purple, while another's bright pink, and they taste fruity, as well as flowery, much like the cookies from the last gathering.
As the party winds down and everyone's eaten, a tall, stately woman stands up and speaks. You feel her voice more than hear it.
I am the Lawspeaker of the Fae, elected by Seelie and Unseelie alike, and you are all, now, subjects of Faerie. You cannot leave this realm once you have eaten our food, and even if you could, there is no saying how much time has passed back where you're from. Your loved ones are likely dead, your problems have likely played out. We require assistance in various matters, and each of you has been chosen for your talent and skill. You will be adopted by one of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts based on your strengths and personality. Your Court will decide what to do with you from there.
As suddenly as she stood, she sits back down.
So, what about this hedge maze that seems to have appeared out of nowhere and looming quite eerily beside this night's gathering? For one, peculiar noises can be heard whenever one's near its entrance. From the rustling of leaves to a woman crying, everything seems to be coming from inside.
Of course, the Adopted's participation is required and paramount. Anyone who refuses will be met with harsh penalties and consequences, whatever those may be. They also hint of a prize to anyone who comes out victorious on the other side. It's unclear what it is, though.
The fae know that while the Adopted have been very useful so far, they are also vulnerable and susceptible to fear, so to mitigate that, they have some colorful shots on a table marked LIQUID COURAGE near the entrance to the maze with such effects:
- Gold: Essentially a strong drink that gives you profound energy for 24 hours.
- Red: Downing this will make you feel warm like an aphrodisiac.
- Blue: Basically functions like a normal tequila shot. Or three. Comes with a little bag of salt.
These shots are not compulsory for the Adopted to take, but they will be highly encouraged to do so before entering. Once inside, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of someone crying become louder and even more evident. There are also a few key things that seem to be very clear the longer an Adopted is within the maze's walls:
- The maze is moving. How it's doing it, nobody knows. But it appears to be alive somehow, much like the castle grounds, so finding a clear pathway is almost impossible.
- Whenever an Adopted turns right two consecutive times, they will see a more positive outcome from a terrible event in their lives. Lost someone? They're now here and alive. Gave up on a dream? You find yourself currently living it.
- If an Adopted turns left two consecutive times, they will see someone, a family member or a friend who's still alive and had a deep impact on their lives, bleeding and dead on the ground.
It would be great if no one else can see an Adopted during their most vulnerable, but since the maze moves constantly, another Adopted or two might be able to see them trying to parse out what they're seeing, even if their fellow Adopted can't see it themselves.
CW: dismemberment, body horror, forced body transformations, mild gore, asphyxiation, drowning of children, death
The Spring King only wanted some good-natured fun within the maze, but unbeknownst to him, some Unseelie creatures and Unseelie magic have appeared inside, threatening the safety of the Adopted traversing every nook and cranny. Surely this will not have any lasting consequences between the relationship of the Seelie and Unseelie court rulers. Not at all.
A few of these Unseelie beings and Unseelie magic roaming around the hedge maze that the Adopted will have a chance to meet are as follows:
- Manananggal: Capable of severing its torso from its legs, this vampiric creature usually preys on sleeping pregnant women and unborn babies. But not anymore. Due to magic put on it, this manananggal will strike anyone it comes across. Better pour salt on its severed lower torso once you find it, or else.
- La Llorona: Remember that woman crying? Well, somewhere in the maze alongside the eerie sounds of water flowing, you'll come across a weeping woman cloaked in white with her back turned against you. Be careful not to approach her because once you do, she'll try to choke you to death, reminiscent of how she drowned her own children.
- Jersey Devil: The first thing you'll hear once you turn is a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream then the sound of bat wings flapping. You better run as fast as you can to the other direction because this devil is out to attack anyone it sees on its path.
- A fountain: How odd. Running from the jersey devil or the manananggal might have made you thirsty so perhaps there's no harm in drinking from it. But just coming in contact with its water will make any Adopted soon realize they have transformed into an Unseelie creature.
Fighting off these creatures might be best with a fellow Adopted. After all, there's power in numbers. Just be careful not to die within the hedge maze. There might be some dire consequences.
You feel a vibration in your pocket sometime after the Lawspeaker addresses everyone. When you search for the source, you will pull out your Leaf, the device the Fae use to stay in touch with each other. Anyone who's used a smart phone will easily recognize how it works.
Greetings, Adopted. This is your Lawspeaker.
To be on theme with our festivities for tonight, we want to know a time in your life when you felt lost and wandering about. Perhaps the most compelling story will receive a reward from us.
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[A swear slipped from her lips as the woman suddenly lunged at her companion, flinching back a bit. Gods, that would have been her if the man hadn't stopped her. But Koh didn't dwell on that thought too long. Before he could finish his breath, the cleric already had her sword and shield in hand.
Raising her weapon above her head, the intricate drowic script that ran along its blade flashed gold. Radiant magic struck the veiled woman from above, causing her to shrek yanking back her hands. Taking advantage of the opening, Koh stepped forward to bash the creature with her shield to shove it backwards, giving the pair some breathing room. Planting herself between the woman and her companion, the cleric held a defensive position. If it was going to charge again, they would have to go through her first.]
Are you okay? [Koh lets herself glance back at him for a moment to check on him.] What do you suggest? She's alone, I think we can take her if we work together.
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Well, we're already a bit ahead in this game; most clerics I know prefer to stay in the back and throw spells, but here you are!
[Most clerics. There is one he knows who leads armies. His comment sounds like it could be an insult, but by the wild grin on his face, far from. Wrathion loves audaciousness, in both himself and others. Given space to breathe, he gestures, conjuring an orb of flame in the hand not holding his blade.]
And I assure you, nothing would delight me more. I admit to preferring more...hit-and-run tactics? [He also has some magic, which is obvious now.]
I suppose the question is, do we end her misery, or simply drive her off and make her someone else's problem?
[Wrathion is fine with either suggestion, though a little more likely to go for the former. There's always the possibility of her springing upon someone less prepared for violence than they were. The woman in white starts--getting ideas?--and he lobs the orb at her in what is clearly a warning shot; a 'whatever you are thinking, don't' gesture.]
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A lady can do both. All this armor isn't just for show.
[Koh flashes him a teasing grin before turning her sights back on the woman. She wasn't sure what kind of clerics he knew, but she was perfect comfortable middle of the playing field. The cleric had spells, yes, but some required to get up and personal for both allies and foes.
Listening to him explain, the drow kept her eyes fixed on the creature. Perhaps growing inpatient at the pair formulating a plan, it twitched forward. Koh gripped the hilt of her blade but an orb of flame whizzed over head to stop the woman in her tracks.]
I say we grant her the mercy of sending her back from where she came from. What if someone other unexpected soul stumbles on her? [Her grin widens, spinning her sword in her hand.] If you need to, use me as your shield. I can held myself.
[With that, she moved to hold her sword vertical in front of her as the writing glowed again. There was a flash, bathing her in a golden light as she was ringed by a radiant aura. Circling her were that looked like four elegant birds, leaving a shimmering trail behind them as they flew. Stepping forward, the veiled woman held up her hands to shield her face as the ring of light enveloped her, blinding her. An easy target.]
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[Wrathion doesn't seem to have a problem with threatening a helpless opponent. This is only because the white-clad woman is so very clearly a threat, with no capacity or desire to listen to reason. He gives the aura a respectful berth as he approaches La Llorona, lifting his burning blade as the flames intensify.]
I have never encountered her like; do you have any suggestions as to what we do once she's dispatched? I'm no priest, but...even I am not unmoved by her grief.
[He doesn't know the human legends, he's not familiar with fae, to his detriment. And still, there's at least a hint of respect for their enemy. She cowers before the radiant light, but Wrathion does not hold back, ramming Succession where her heart ought to be, gauntleted hand reaching for her shoulder and holding her with inhuman strength while she writhes and screams, flailing at him. But the flames seem to have little effect on him as he makes sure she won't get away. He holds her until the flames take, until she stops moving, and only then does he slide the scimitar out of her chest. He does not look terribly pleased.]
Grim business, but necessary. Have you a prayer to offer?
[As for him, he takes one knee by the burning corpse.] Six Aspects' grace be upon you. I hope you now find the peace.
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When the poor creature served no longer a threat, the cleric dropped her concentration on her spell and the golden ring dissipated in a glitter of light. A solemn express darkened her features as she stepped forward, placing her sword and shield back into their rightful place. Closing her eyes, the drow began to hum. Song was sacred for her faith.]
Rest now in Her silver embrace, where sorrow fades and the dance never ends.
[The tune fade and her eyes blinked open once more.]
I hope she finds peace. Dealing with lost is never an easy thing. Unfortunately, I think this is the best thing we could do for her... We can't very well bury her here. [She shot him a curious look.] Are you also a man of faith?
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I am not, no. But as I've said, I do know a bit about priests!
[One can't be friends with a priest and not pick up a thing or two. Wrathion is not inclined to holy magic--indeed, he highly doubts the Light would answer to him, but he's seen it in action and at least can respect such. Still, the question makes him chuckle. But he quickly loses his mirth when the cleric says their opponent cannot be buried.]
We can't bury her? We can return her to the earth. [Or, perhaps, he could. There's always a part of Wrathion waiting to show off, and now is no different. His flight were the Warders of Earth, after all. This might not be his world, but maybe the earth here would at least listen to him to reclaim one of its own. He steps forward, holding out a hand over the sad corpse, and wills the earth to open around it, commands it. It may be a slower response than Wrathion had hoped, but at least it heeded him. Good. It's short, slow going, perhaps because of the fae magic around, but soon there is only brown earth where she had lain.]
See? Not a problem. [Now, Wrathion bows, slightly. Half of it is still showing off, but the other half--he's well aware he's been remiss in his manners.]
May I have the pleasure of your name? I am Wrathion, the Black Prince.
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I stand corrected.
[Koh blinks, still a bit awe struck staring at the empty space were the creature once was. But then she turned back to her companions as he introduced himself. A prince? That got a raised brow. The cleric sighs a soft chuckle, shaking her head.]
This was one hell of an introduction, wasn't it? [Standing up straight she gives Wrathion a sweeping bow.] Kolnatha Shavval, cleric of Eilistraee at your service. Though, no one calls me by my full name unless I'm in trouble. Simply Koh is fine.
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[Though he does pause to bow in turn.]
I cannot say I've heard of your deity, but the power they grant you is impressive all the same. Again, it's a pleasure to meet you, Koh. I fear I've no nickname to go by, though you definitely do not need to add the title. You've sworn no fealty to me, after all!
[Though truth be told, were she from Azeroth, Wrathion would definitely consider recruiting her for his Blacktalons, despite the fact that she wasn't the usual type of candidate. Maybe he ought to broaden that particular net? He'd have time to think about that later. There are more important matters to hand.]
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[The kind smile on her face lingers as she shook her head. The cleric took no offence at him not knowing her Dark Maiden.]
That's alright. There are those in Faerûn who haven't heard of my goddess. Most people associate my kin with following her mother, Lolth. But I bare no love for the Spider Queen.
[Just for a flicker of a moment, her face darkens. Clearly she did not hold this Lolth in high esteem. But in a blink, the look fades.]
Just Wrathion it is then. [She gave him a little nod before turning to the maze.] If only we could climb these hedges, get a good look around. Maybe we can figure out the path out.
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You'll have to tell me about them both, when we've more time. I doubt I'll ever become an adherent, but I am curious!
[At her words, Wrathion sizes up the hedge. He'd been aware of its subtle movements since he'd entered, and the thought of actually attempting to climb it--well, it gave him ill thoughts of some of Azeroth's more...violent plant life.]
I have at least one idea that we might enact, that does not involve either of us coming in physical contact with these hedges. If I might be so forward, my lady Koh, I have no difficulty with boosting you upon my shoulders, if you'd forgive the indelicate suggestion? I think I could even let you stand upon them without falling, if simply having a seat there wouldn't suffice...
[His other thought is shifting out of Visage, but there isn't that much room in these mazes, and even in dragon form, Wrathion isn't sure he wants to touch the hedge.]
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[About her faith, she means. Her feelings about her former tyrant was more of an angry rant that would mot likely get her head on a chopping block back 'home'. But her thought was cut short at his suggestion to lift her. Lift her?
Spinning around, her placed her hands on her hips as she scanned the prince. Sure, the man had height on her, but from personal experience... those who lean more into se of the arcane lacked physical prowess. Cocking a brow, her eyes raised to meet his.]
Are you sure? With my chainmail on, I am quite heavy. I could possibly remove my sword and shield if that would lighten the load.
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And yes, lady, both! I do believe one of them is more a threat than the other? I'd like the warning, as well as allowing you to wax poetic to the limits of your enjoyment!
[He's secretly a nerd who loves rifling through old ruins and libraries. About the only downside to that is he doesn't always have the time to translate the tomes he goes into those places to find Still, he gazes at her calmly, confidently, and tilts his head.]
Do you trust me?
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[The smile on her face wanes when she was stuck with that calm, collected look. Something about the earnest expression caused her to button up, pressing her lips into a fine line. She could feel the tips of her ears start to burn, giving him a silent nod.]
I do.
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Just let me know when you feel steady, then I'll move. Just be wary. Aspects know those hedges could have thorns like staves or some other mad thing up there, for unsuspecting adventurers.
[At the moment, he's counting himself in that number. And he's not the one taking the greatest risk! She is. The Black Prince will not react kindly if she gets hurt.]
Don't rush. Especially not for my sake. As for being formal, well. Sometimes a bit of formality is a show of respect, don't you think?
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She gave a firm tight nod, her expression turning serious. Surrounded by the soft moonlight, she almost forgot how much danger the two were in.]
No, you're right. I guess I'm not used to people showing respect besides my peers. [She smiles weakly at him before moving into position to climb up.] You tell me if it's too much, okay?
[Stepping up, Koh pushed off with a foot, bracing her hands against his shoulders.]
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[Wrathion is well aware the situation is precarious enough as it is, and he won't be able to see things as well as Koh will from up there. As she steps into his braced hands, he does make a little 'hup!' noise, but he doesn't falter. In fact, he just pushes her up--if she's not prepared, Koh might be surprised--he is definitely stronger than he looks; it's only awkward because of how human bodies are. They're not exactly supposed to fit together like this. His voice, when it comes, is only a little strained.]
Have a seat, first? If you can't get a good vantage point that way, then we'll reassess.
[He has one hand curled around her booted foot, supporting it. The other is now wrapped around her other leg at just above knee level. His grip is supportive and steady, but it's fairly clear Koh can do whatever she needs to, to level herself off and be able to get on his shoulders and make observations on that hedge.]
And once you get up there, do what you need to do to be stable. The only thing I ask is watch the earrings. I shan't take anything else as an affront to my person, all right?
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Wobbling only for a second as she straightens her leg, the addition of Wrathion's hand added support. Okay, half way there... next issue was her armor. Not its weight but how to position it so it wasn't in the way. Adjusting the pleats, the drow pulled the two main side panels to the side, exposing her trousers underneath as she tucked the central flap between her legs. Kicking around with her free foot, she moved to straddle the prince's shoulders, being careful of his earrings as instructed. Now that she was seated, she was uncertain on what to hold on to. Curling forward slightly, her belly followed the curve of the back of Wrathion's head, resting her hands upon his crown.]
I think this is as secure I'm going to get. You still doing all right? I'm not pulling your hair, am I?
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[Again, it's only awkward because the positioning is unwieldy. Wrathion has no issue with straightening to his feet; he only does it slowly to maintain balance. Mostly Koh's balance. Though there is a part of him that wishes he had his wings in this form for a bit of added stability. That would be even more of a tell, however.]
Nor shall I blame you if your armor gives my hair a tug, these things happen. Besides, this was my bright idea in the first place!
[It takes him a moment to get his bearings, only because now, his vision is somewhat obscured by a cleric's legs. This is not a complaint. Wrathion tilts his head forward and shrugs his shoulders a little to ensure she's got a firm seat, then wraps his arms around her legs again.]
Ready? Can you reach your sword? I don't mind if you bring it out now. Best to be as safe as we can be, considering the situation...
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Slowly, she pushed herself up to sit up as straight as she could. The extra weight on her back made a bit hesitant. Gods, she doesn't know if she could reach for her sword and shield even if she wanted to without toppling backwards.]
It'll be okay. If worst comes to worst, I have my magic. Can you get me as close as you can to the hedges? I can only see a little bit from here.
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[Well, so long as Koh minds his earrings, but by now, Wrathion is certain that she will. He's confident, he sounds as if all this is perfectly reasonable, despite the situation. He's not sure anything like this would happen on Azeroth, if he's being honest. His grip tightens and he takes a few steps forward, moving closer to the hedge. Practically brushing up against it.
Which seems to anger it, and a vine from within the maze lashes out in an attempt to coil around Wrathion's waist (and, perhaps, Koh's ankles, as well). The dragon isn't about to let that happen. He grips the drow's legs a bit tighter, and moves quickly out of the way, back into an open space (likely out of where Koh can get any good glimpses of how the maze is mapped. Alas.) The hedge, somewhat mollified, settles back down immediately, though it still shifts about within. Audibly.]
Well! I wasn't expecting that! I guess we're supposed to find our way out on our own, and upon our own two feet!
[He's not entirely calm anymore; Wrathion's voice has gone a bit higher pitched in agitation. Though for the moment, there's another thing to consider.]
Are you all right, Koh?
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Unfortunately, what she saw didn't provide much help. A vast sea of green in all directions. Barely, she could make out rustling leaves of something moving. Perhaps the very bushes themselves. Shit, that's right... She had a suspicion that the maze was shifting. Even if she spotted the way out, it might be-]
Ah!
[A sharp yelp cuts the air as Koh felt something brush against her lower leg. Peeling her eyes away to glance down, she saw the twist of a branch reaching for them. Koh barely had time to react before Wrathion had it in hand, pull both of them back to safety. Slumping over, she pressed her cheek into his hair with a long relieved sigh.]
I'm unharmed. If you told me this morning that I would be assulted by sentient bushes, I would have called you mad. [Another long sigh, this one more defeated.] It was no good... All I saw was green. If the maze keeps moving, I don't think it would matter even if I did see the exit.
[Right before she asked to be let down, a sound caught her ears. Sitting straight back up at full attention, her head snapped around. From where they stood, she couldn't see far, but it was far enough to see the tops of the bushes tremble violently as something big was heading their way. Stuck on his shoulder, Koh frantically tapped the crown of his head.]
Oh, Gods. Put me down! We gotta go, we gotta go!
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[And then she's smacking the top of his head. Well. As startling as it was, he can hear the rustling of the bushes, too. And that cannot be good. His earrings can go to the Twisting Nether, now, for all Wrathion cares. He reaches swiftly above his head, grabbing the unsuspecting drow around her waist, and just hauls her bodily over his head. He doesn't even pause to ascertain her stability before he's got an arm around her waist, practically herding her towards one of the maze exits. He's pulling his saber with the other.]
No wasting time, then! Let's go!
[Koh can take care of herself, and even heal, so she's a force to be reckoned with in her own right. But between the two of them, Wrathion is certain he can take more damage. So of course, he's putting himself between the drow and--whatever that is that is coming for them.]
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No, wait, that was a good idea. Without explanation, she reached back to take his hand in hers. What if one of them ran too far away from one another and the bushes separates them? They would not be left alone. She hoped that he understood the meaning behind her gesture as they fled down the straightaway. Stealing just a quick glance over her shoulder, the drow had instant regret.
Appearing from the other side from where they were was one of the most bizarre creatures she has ever seen. Head of a horse but the wings and legs of a fiend. It's beady locked on them as it snarled. But as they turned the corner, her view was cut short.]
What in the Nine Hells is that thing?
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I've no idea. Nothing good! Keep going!
[With her, he's trying to be as gentle as he can, but he does shoulder her along. At least until there's another maze opening--another clearing. Damn. Who knows if they're anywhere closer to the end. Not him, and he's already tired of this thing chasing them. She probably tugs him as he stops short, turning to raise his sword and hold it at the ready.]
I am not going to let this thing keep chasing us! Aspects only know where it's trying to herd us!
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Fight it? Koh clicked her tongue, pulling her sword and shield from her back again. Taking the smallest of steps to get in front, yet still by his side, Koh rooted her feet.]
If it is herding us, it's probably to no where good. [She spins her sword in her hand out of habit.] Stand back a bit. Once it goes down, give it everything you have, got it?
[Koh raised her blade above her head as the engraving shimmered a deep crimson. At the mouth of the path they took to get into the small clearing, a circle of matching red ruins marked the grass. It was subtle enough to be hidden if one was not careful in where they stepped. If the creature was going to give chase, they would have to run over it.
And they didn't need to wait for long as the strange beast came into view. Again it screeched a horrible ear-splitting scream as it barreled towards them. The cleric's eyes narrowed, unflinching as she gripped the hilt of her sword. A little closer. Just as the devil crossed the magic sigil there was a massive boom sending shockwaves in all directions. The sheer force of air knocked the creature back down the path, flat on this hooved backside, leaving it awkwardly kicking at nothing.]
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